Sunday, November 27, 2005

I'm Dreaming About Barbara Again

It's been 40 days since my wife Barbara passed away. It seems longer than that, but that's getting side tracked.

For the first couple of weeks I didn't dream about her at all, which seemed a little strange to me. When my father passed away 10 years ago I dreamed about him right from the beginning. It seemed like he was actually with me in my dreams.

Then when Barbara started to be in my dreams, I was always mad at her and yelled at her a lot. She was always in the background, doing something, I don't know what, and seemed to be getting on my nerves for some reason.

Then starting the last week or so, when I dreamed and she was it them, she was happy go lucky and rushing everywhere she went. She had regained her ability to walk which made me happy, but her rushing around made me nervous because I thought she would fall and hurt herself. I was always trying to get her to slow down but she wouldn't listen. BTW, she never did fall in the dreams.

I have some ideas about what this means, but that's not the point, I just wanted to tell you about it.

9 comments:

Megan said...

My brother used to visit me in my dreams after his death. It's been years now since he decided to grace me with his presence. Sometimes I wish he would come back, so that I could remember more about him. I don't know what your dreams mean, but maybe you can decide in your conscious mind to let your unconscious mind just enjoy being in her presence for a while. As you go to sleep, remind yourself to relax and just be happy she is with you. I'm glad you are still graced with her presence.

Wenchy said...

My best friend Tim died in 1999... and althouhg I no longer wake up with my first thought being that he is gone, I still hurt for him daily. Obviously I am not well.

Does the dreams bring you comfort?

Libby said...

this dream sounds as if it made you feel much better that she could walk. in most of my dreams, i don't have ms, either, and those are the best! i know she'd be much happier with you dreaming about good things about her!

Samantha Alice said...

Peace.

Blonde said...

I discuss my dreams with my therapist all of the time. Good or bad, you should discuss them with a professional.

My Dad did not appear in my dreams until after a year after he died. In everyone, he was looking for me to rescue him out of situations. I was never successful in any of my dreams. It got to the point I didn't want to sleep because the dreams were too painful. After going to a therapist, dealing with them has become better and the dreams are fewer now.

I hope that you are well and had a lovely Thanksgiving with your son.

Chickie said...

The dreams that I have where my Grandparents are in them, I consider them visits.

MamaKBear said...

Just some hugs for you...

(((((((Tony))))))))

Anonymous said...

At least she is still in your thoughts. Hope you had a nice holiday. Enjoying the stories about Vietnam. Can't wait to hear more about your life.

BTExpress said...

Have I told you all that I love you? No? Well I do. Thank you for being there for me. I really don't know what I would have done without you being there for me. Please, let me know if I can ever do anything for you. I'm serious! If I can, I will.