Wednesday, June 29, 2005

My AC Broke, Part 6

I'm so excited. A second contractor finally showed up this evening to give me an estimate. Just one problem is he is $300 higher than the first guy. One more guy is scheduled to come so, with any luck, I'll stop sweating pretty soon.

Saturday, June 25, 2005

I didn't know this.....

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For instance, if she is ovulating she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.

However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she is more prone to be attracted to a man with scissors lodged in his temple and a bat jammed up his ass while he is on fire.

Further studies are expected.

Wow, I learn something new every day.

I had to make a very tough decision this morning...

..., I'm going to sell my boat. It's the one in the picture at the top of my blog.

It's not like I want to or anything, but I haven't used it since October 2002. That's the month I had it hauled and put up on blocks, for what I expected was just going to be for the winter.

In the spring of 2003, I spent quite a bit of time working on it to get ready to put back in the water in time for Memorial Day weekend. That's the Unofficial start of summer up here in New York. I had it already to go the week before and had the launch scheduled for Tuesday, May 28th. But it wasn't to be. The day before, May 27th was the day my wife was diagnosed with malignant brain cancer.

I called the marina and canceled the launch. BT Express has sat up on blocks ever since.

I received a letter from the marina a few months ago asking me to contact them and let them know what I was going to do with the boat, but I didn't call. I just didn't want to make the decision I knew I had to make.

Then this morning the marina called.

"Hello?" (I recognized Deb's voice as soon as she said hello, even though I hadn't heard her talk in about a year. My heart dropped.)

"Hi, this is Deb from Leeward Cove. Is this Tony?"


"We need to know what your going to do with the boat. You going to put it in the water, sell it or abandon it?. What are you going to do?"

Well, that was the question I had been dreading for about 1 1/2 years. It's been about that long since we all knew Barbara wouldn't be able to get on the boat anymore. I don't want to use it anymore if she can't be with me.

I told Deb Barbara's was under the care of hospice and I hadn't been thinking about the boat very much. That's really isn't true. I've thought about it a lot ever since the cold weather left us in the spring. Each year since we've had the boat, we bought it in 1994, that's when I started getting her ready to put it back in the water.

"I'm sorry Tony."

"Thanks, I appreciate it."

"But I need to know what your going to do."

"I guess I'll have to sell it."

"We have a broker that does work for us here. Would you like me to contact him or are you going to sell it on your own?"

Now I there's no way I can take the time to sell it on my own. I have nobody to stay with Barbara on short notice if I had to go show it to someone.

"Sure, contact him." (My heart sank a little further.)

"Okay, his name is (I missed it). I'll call him and have him contact you."

"That will be fine."

"I'm sorry it has to be like this."

"I know
Deb, thanks."

"My prayers are with you both. Take care of yourself."

"Thanks, I will."

I said good bye and hung up the phone. Now I wait for the call from the broker or if you know anyone interested in buying a 39 foot, 1986 Sea Ray Express Cruiser, let me know.

Friday, June 24, 2005

My AC Broke, Part 5

Doesn't anyone want to make a few bucks putting AC in my house? WTF is wrong with people? I can't get anyone else to give me an estimate.


If you install AC central air and you can beat $3,200, give me a call.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Bonding with my son

I just read a touching post on Bad News Blonde's blog about her and her father that reminded me of the first time I hung out with my son in a social setting. It was at a local bar about two years ago.

My son told me about this new bar him and his friends used to hang out in up in town. They had cheap drinks (16oz glasses of mixed drinks with rack liquor and imported tap beer for $4, $2 for the domestic crap like Bud), free popcorn fresh popped in one of those machines like they used to have in the movies and Tuesday’s was all the domestic beer and chicken wings you could handle from 8 to 10 for $10. Come on, that is like the best kind of bar I ever heard of.

Well, it was a Tuesday and I was on my way back home from my commute into NY City. My wife had just undergone her first brain surgery the week before and was in Columbia Presbyterian Hospital in Manhattan. I commuted into Manhattan every morning on the train to stay with her, and came home every night to take care of our dog and sleep. I didn't like coming home to an empty house, so I would stop somewhere every night after getting off the train to have a few drinks to avoid being home alone in the empty house for as long as possible. Having a few drinks also helped me get to sleep faster when I did get home.

I get to the bar and it is packed with, of course, all young people. I look around and see my son and his friends down the other end playing darts so I make my way through the crowd over to where they were. I’ve known all these kids since my son started elementary school, and coached most of them in Little League so I was pretty happy to see them. It was such a warm feeling the greeting they gave me. Part sympathy for my wife’s illness, I’m sure and part because I hadn’t seen some of them for a very long time.

They cleared a barstool for me, got me a big bowl of fresh popped popcorn, put the plate of chicken wings in front of me and I think it was TK that bought me my first of many drinks. I hung out for a couple of hours with them and had a great time.

I’d pretty much forgot about that night until I read Bad News Blonde's blog. Thanks Aughra.

Which reminds me. My son told me I’m invited to hang out one night at his friend Tommy’s, dad’s biker bar over by the Ronkonkoma train station. Tommy’s dad is a “retired” biker. My son said I would find it “interesting” to hang with a couple of biker gangs for a night. They are under gags, or what ever they call it, of the Hell’s Angels and are some of the nicest people. At least that's what he tells me. I think if I can get someone to stay with Barbara one evening, I’ll take him up on it. Might be fun.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

I feel better now

My son Brian didn't forget me after all. He just got home from work and gave me a card and a gift certificate to Best Buy for $50.

He loves me after all. Very Happy

Happy Father's Day Tony

Me: Thanks. Happy Father's Day to you too, Tony.

Myself: Got anything planned?

Me: No, today's just like every other day now.

Myself: You got any plans.

Me: No. Same as you, nothing.

Myself: Did Brian get you anything?

Me: No, but he did wish me Happy Father's Day before he went to work.

Myself: Not even a card?

Me: No.

Myself: Me neither.

Me: Well, I guess it's just us today, huh?

Myself: Yep. Here give me your cup and let me get you another cup of coffee.

Me: Thanks. That'd be nice.

Myself: When's Happy Hour going to start today?

Me: Maybe around 3:00 since today is a special day.

Myself: That's fine. Want to get drunk?

Me: Can't. Remember? We have to take care of Barbara.

Myself: Oh yeah. Well, at least let's get a little buzz on. Ok?

Me: I with ya.

Myself: Here's your coffee.

Me: Thanks.

Me & Myself: Happy Father's Day to us, Happy Father's Day to us, Happy Father's Day dear Tony, Happy Father's Day to us.

Friday, June 17, 2005


I just checked, and found out someone found my blog by searching Google for "contortionism masturbation". I am proud to say, I was the #2 result.

Pssst........What the hell is contortionism masturbation?

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

My AC Broke, Part 4



Monday, June 13, 2005

My AC Broke, Part 3

I got the first quote today, $3,200 for central air. Yes you heard me right, $3,200.

Big deal! What's money for? Except for spending and for leaving to my heirs, not.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. It's also for gin and tonic (my favorite BTW), wine (yes I love wine, but not Merlot. I don't know how you can drink Merlot Amber, no offense. There are so many better wines than Merlot.), pot (when I feel like it, which hasn't been for quite a while.), clothes (but you know something, who needs clothes? We came into this world naked, and that's how should be, as often as possible.), food (can't leave out food now can we), and nuts (I love nuts. But, is that considered food? Who cares, nuts stand on their own? Nuts should be their own separate food group, nuts are that important.)

I forgot where I was at. Oh yeah, $3,200. Did I tell you I got my first quote for the central air today? Yeah, you heard me right, $3,200.

Big deal! What's money for? Except for spending and for leavin.........

Sorry, I think I said that already, didn't I? So never mind. Go back to what you were doing and leave an old guy to sweat.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

My AC Broke, Part 2

I was going to put the AC back in the wall this morning with the help of Brian. I can’t do it by myself you see. It goes in a cut out in the wall of the dining room about six feet off the floor and it’s heavy. I don’t know how much a 25,000 BTU AC weights, but it took the two of us to get it down yesterday, so I know it’s heavy.

I was so proud of how I fixed the AC. It was filled with all kinds of debris and pieces of rusted metal, and the fan blade kept scrapping against the rusted out shroud. I bent the shroud and cleaned out most of the crap, and got the fan to turned fine. I made a big mess on the dining room table and floor, but it was worth it. At least I didn’t have to buy a new one right away.

Brian was on his way over to his friend Tom’s house this morning to help Tom and his dad put in a sprinkler system. So before he left, I asked him to help me put the AC back.

“Bri, I need your help putting the AC back in the wall before you leave."

“That thing is no good, it's all rusted out. You have to get a new one." he says in a know-it-all voice.

"I fixed it. Let's just put it back in the wall." I said with confidence.

He walks over to where I’m standing, looks down at the AC and says, again in that know-it-all voice, "It's no good, the pan is rusted through. Look, you can see through the bottom."

“I fixed it last night.” I say authoritatively. "See, fan blade and spins fine." I say as I spin the fan confidently.

"Cling, cling, scrape." I spin it again. "Scrape, scrape, cling, cling, scrape." It stops.

" I don't know what happened, it turned fine last night.” I see his eyes roll but he doesn't say anything.

I look behind the coil, move the blade back and forth and see it scraping against the top of the shroud. "Spin the fan blade again." I said as I picked up the coil. He spins it. It just scrapes on the shroud. I look down as I feel more rust falling on my slippers.

“You have to get a new one,” he says. “I know. Look; help me put it back in the wall. I can’t leave it here on the table.”

“Why bother?” he asks. “Let’s just carry it outside”


I walked over and opened the back door and propped open the storm door. I walked back into the dining room and put my hands under one end of the AC. Wordlessly he picked up the other end. Well, we carried the old girl outside, down the ramp for the wheel chair and put her on an old table by the garbage pails. Tomorrows trash day so I suppose we’ll carry it out to the street later tonight when he gets off work.

Now I sweat until I get something else. Either that or I can sit in my bedroom where the small window AC is. No, that’s no good, the computer is in the den. I'll just sweat I suppose.

My AC Broke

I went to turn on the AC in the living room/dining room this afternoon and the fan started making this load racket and then stopped turning. I had my son help me get it out of the wall and I found that it's very rusty and was jammed by the fan shroud.

I managed to clean it up and clear the jam. but I'm really going to have to buy a new one, this one isn't going to last. Or I could get central air and patch up the hole in the wall where the AC unit is.

I have force air heat so the duct work is already there so I am inclined to go for the central air. What do you think?

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Blogs Rock

I love blogs. Do you love blogs?

Blogs are so varied in content, and convey such a vast range of emotions; it’s amazes me.

There are blogs that make me laugh. There are blogs that make me sad. There are blogs that shock me. There are blogs that even make me horny. There are blogs that make me feel none, or one, or even all of these emotions, and even more.

I especially like to read blogs about sexual escapades and fantasies. That’s my weakness. What can I tell you? I’m just a slut at heart.

Bloggers, thanks for letting me into your lives, a view I feel privileged to be let in on. A view I love.

I love blogs. Do you love blogs?

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Does this sound good, or what?

I loooooovvvvvvveeeeee onions.

Top burgers with a special onion topping and American cheese for a tangy topped cheeseburger.
Topping Ingredients:
* 1 large red onion, sliced, separated into rings
* 1 large white or yellow onion, sliced, separated into rings
* 2 tablespoons honey
* 1 tablespoon Dijon-style mustard
* 1 tablespoon cider vinegar
Burgers Ingredients:
* 1 pound lean ground beef
* 4 hamburger buns
* 8 (1-ounce) slices LAND O LAKES® Deli American Cheese Product
Heat gas grill to medium or charcoal grill until coals are ash white.
Meanwhile, combine all topping ingredients in 2-quart saucepan. Cook over medium heat until onions are softened (8 to 10 minutes). Remove from heat. Keep warm.
Shape ground beef into 4 (4-inch) patties. Place patties onto grill. Grill, turning once, until burgers are cooked through (15 to 18 minutes).
To serve, place burgers onto bottom half of buns; top each with 2 slices cheese, 1 tablespoon onion topping mixture and top half of bun.
Ingredient Substitution Index
Yield: 4 sandwiches

Now we just have to have beans with this.

Bush's Tropical Beans in a Boat
Serves 6-8
Preparation time: 25 minutes
Cooking time: 15 minutes
1 cup sweet onion, such as Vidalia, chopped
1 Tbl. butter
1/2 pound of smoked bacon
1 pound chuck steak, cut into 1" pieces
2 cans (28 oz.) BUSH'S Boston Recipe Baked Beans
1 whole pineapple, stem leaves left on
Sour cream for garnish
Place a cast iron skillet over a hot grill* and add onion and butter. Saute onion until slightly browned. Remove onion from pan and set aside.
Add bacon to empty skillet on hot grill* and cook until crisp. Remove bacon, drain on paper towel and then chop into 1" pieces. Pour out half of the bacon fat, retaining rest in pan.
Add chuck steak to skillet and brown meat thoroughly. When meat is cooked, add bacon and stir well. Mix in beans and onion. Place skillet on grill* over indirect heat, until mixture boils.
Cut pineapple in half vertically, keeping leaves attached. Lay pineapple on round side. Remove pineapple with sharp knife or grapefruit spoon, leaving 1/2" at bottom and sides of pineapple. Chop scooped out pineapple into squares.
When ready to serve, gently fold 1 cup pineapple into bean mixture. Divide mixture evenly between pineapple halves.
Garnish with remaining chopped pineapple and dollop of sour cream.

Ooooo, Oooooo. I almost forgot the corn on the cob.

Serves 8.
1 c. (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
2 tsp. red pepper sauce
8 ears corn-on-the-cob
In a small bowl, combine butter and red pepper sauce. Mix well. Melt, if desired.
Peel one side of corn husk away from cob without removing completely and loosen remaining husk. Do not remove silk. Brush butter mixture over kernels and smooth back husk to original shape. Twist open end to close.
Prepare grill. Place corn directly onto coals. Cover grill with lid or foil tent.
Cook two to three minutes. Test. If not done, turn and roast another two minutes. The outside husk will be charred. To serve, strip off husks and silk.

O My Gawd, I forgot to get the beer. Who want to go to the beer distributer for a keg of Sam Adams?

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

I'm Number 1, I'm Number 1!

Can you believe it? I mean, can you believe it? I'm now #1 on Yahoo.

Mom will be so proud. :)

But wait!

Where do I go from here?

Down seems to be the only choice.

OMG, the bottom again. :(

Monday, June 06, 2005

It was babbling.

Barbara made it through Sunday and into Monday without......, you know what. As the clock got closer and closer to midnight, I was getting kind of nervous. By 12:10 I was feeling pretty confident she wasn't going to......, you know what.

It's now late in the day on Monday, so I guess she was just babbling. The wait continues.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Linky & Dinky Rock!

You just have to check out Linky & Dinky. I mean it. They really do rock. If you don't believe me, check out this link and then get back to me, I'll wait.

La, la, la,.........................

So was that not the funniest thing? Now go here and check this out. Scroll down the page a little and check out a few of their links. I'll wait some more, but please don't look at too many right now, I have to take a leak.

La, la, la,.........................

La, la, la,.........................

La, la, la,.........................

La, la, la,.........................

What the fuck took you so long, I almost peed my pants here. Geese, can't you follow directions?

Now you wait while I take a leak and get another drink.

La, la, la,.........................

La, la, la,.........................

La, la, la,.........................

La, la, la,.........................

There. How's it feel to wait? Not fun is it. Next time hurry like I ask, ok, got it NOW?

Funny stuff, right? I told you so. Next time don't doubt me, because I don't lie. Got it?

I liked them so much, I subscribed to their email and get the most entertaining shit a few times a week. I really look forward to getting it more than anyone's. I liked it so much, I subscribed to their Secret Club House.

What's the Secret Club House you say?

That is the place they got the real odd shit and dirty stuff. They used to sent it in the email, but a lot of it was too raunchy and disgusting, the "Authorities", whoever the fuck they are, made them stop. So they made the Secret Club house.

Here are a few links for you to check out if you don't believe me. Wait! If you don't believe me, you haven't been listening, so I'm not giving you any. If you trust me, just check them out. If not, kiss me where the sun don't shine, because your not my friend anymore. Not any less either because I don't have very many friends and I have know idea who is reading this.

Just shut up and subscribe, ok?

No, I do am not work for Linky or Dinky, I just really like their shit.

(Edit: am not...? Sorry, it should have read, " I do not work for..." I guess it's the gin controlling my fingers as I type)

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Is Sunday Heaven?

If you remember, my wife has had terminal brain cancer for two years. Six months to a year is a normal life expectancy for someone like this, so for her to make it for two years is something as far as I'm concerned.

Barbara gets confused pretty easily, sometimes hallucinates, and since her thinking isn't very clear anymore what with the brain surgeries, seizures, medication, etc., she says some strange things sometimes. So Thursday night I hear her fussing and talking to herself which isn't unusual for her in her condition, so I go in to her and try to get her to tell me what the problem is. I always do this, because I want to see if there was something I can take care of; like she is cold, hungry, wants a drink or something.

I asked her what's wrong a few times and she says, "Sunday is heaven." "What did you say I asked?" But she didn't answer me so I dropped it.

But I've been thinking about those three words a lot since then. I've been wondering if she had a premonition. I mean, does she know she is going to die on Sunday and go to heaven? Or, was she just saying strange things like she often does?"

I just have to wait and see.