Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Tasered and Stabbed HNT

Note: This story is true.

I wandered aimlessly for a while and then finally asked for directions from the nice looking man. He didn't know where it was, but took me to someone that did.

"Go out here, make a right and then the first left. You'll see it on your left about 20 feet down."

I thanked him, but now almost regret that decision. I had no idea what pain I would be subjected to in just a few minutes.

I found the place, knocked on the door and saw her. She was a cute young, little brunette with glasses and perky boobs. You know how partial I am to brunettes. She pointed at the bed and told me to sit down. She sat down in a chair next to the bed and straddled my legs, touching them ever so gently with her legs. It wasn't long before she was rubbing cream on me in all the right places. I think it was to lull me into a false sense of security so I'd let my guard down.

While she was busy rubbing on the cream, I looked down and between her legs I saw a hint of her camel toe. I couldn't help myself, I had to look. I thought I was being discrete, but I guess not, because next thing I know she hit me with 100 milli amps from her taser. My entire body twitched. Then she did it again and again and again.

OUCH! But it hurt in a sort of good way.

While she was occupied, I took another discrete peek at her toe. I didn't think she saw me, but she must have. She told me that she was stopping the taser and moving on to even more painful devices, NEEDLES!

She attached an electrode to the needle and repeatedly stabbed me first in the muscles in my left arm. OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! Numerous times. I think she really was enjoying this.

Then she told me she was going to stab me in each hand a few times and this time it would HURT! I'm certain she laughed while saying it.

The electricity was painful and made my muscles twitch involuntarily even more than the first part. Yes, it fucking hurt. She said it would hurt, but I had no idea it would feel like this. BITCH!

"Are you fininshed yet?" I asked.

"No!" she replied and the stuck me in the other hand. More needle stabs and more electric shocks.

Finally she stopped. Thank God it was over. "Oh no! she said, "It's not over yet. I'm sending you to the BSDM dungeon".

I soon arrived at the dungeon and was told to wait. I had no idea what they had in store for me here. Very soon Bill came out and gripped my arms. Not too hard, but hard enough that I knew he meant business. With very few words he told me to wait and left with the threat to return to bind me.

A few minutes later Bill came back with the bindings. One by one he applied them. Not too tight, but tight enough to be effective.

"Why oh why did I come here? It wasn't that much of a problem. I'm sure I could live with it without that much difficulty, couldn't I?"

Bill gave me instructions that must be followed to the letter, OR ELSE!

"Bill", I said, "I promise to follow your instructions if you let me go home."

"Promise?" he said.

"Yes, I promise." I replied.

"Then be gone with you!" he ordered.

With out further adieu, I quickly made my way back out the way I came in, back to freedom. At least until November when I have my follow up appointment with the Neurology department at the local VA hospital to see if the wrist braces have helped the carpal tunnel in my wrists. If not, then I will be subjected to the pain of knives and needles of the neurosurgeon during surgery to relieve the pressure on the nerves in my wrists.

This all started a few weeks ago when I went to the local VA hospital so they could evaluate the numbness in my hands. They referred me to EMG for testing to have the nerve and muscle test I described above to see if I had carpel tunnel syndrome and if I had any serious effects. Fortunately I had no serious side effects, but I do have carpal tunnel in both wrists. They gave me braces to wear while I'm sleeping.

The good news is that I should show significant improvement in a couple months. The bad news is that I won't be able to masturbate at will in the middle of the night any more due to potential chafing.


Tuesday, July 29, 2008

July 29, 1972

Barbara Vitale and I married on that day, 36 years ago. Today would have been our 36th wedding anniversary. Happy anniversary Lovey.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Another fun weekend

Friday night we went to the home of the aunt of Lori's son's girl friend for a birthday party for the son of the girl friend of Lori's son. If you didn't catch that, it was a birthday party for a three year old boy. We went there for their Christmas party last December.

There was a lot of good food, good beer and very nice people. I spent all but about 45 minutes talking with Sal, the family patriarch. As Lori put it to someone, "Once Sal came, I lost my boy friend". Man can that guy talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk..............

Sal is 69 years old and an army vet. He served during the period that the Berlin wall was erected. Since I served during the Vietnam era, we had a lot of things in common and to talk about.

I tried numerous times to sneak away from Sal, but there was no sneaking away. We did get along very well, but I would have liked to talk to some of the hot babes other people too. Maybe next time. Here's a picture of the birthday boy's extended family with Sal and I on the bottom right.

Saturday evening we went over to our friends place for a BBQ and to celebrate their daughters birthday one day late. The real party was the night before, but as you read, we had other obligations. There was great food (smoked ribs to die for) great booze and great friends. We love these people.

Sunday was our day of rest. We had sex and then sat in bed all day hanging out and lap topping. I cooked a dinner of ravioli and meatballs. It must have been good, because we ate the whole box of fresh ravioli from the pork store. Looks like I have this cooking thing down pretty well.

Thursday, July 24, 2008


Last Saturday night we went out to dinner with some friends. The drinks were flowing, the chicks got horny and we had our first threesome.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
threesome is a form of group sex involving three people of any gender combination. The level of sexual activity among the three members may vary greatly. Some threesomes may involve one who has a voyeur role, sometimes the invited member is there for enhancing the experience which does not involve having intercourse with the couple role (this is sometimes referred to as soft-swinging), other threesomes may involve some same sex contact, and other threesomes actively involve all three members.

I was kissing my baby.

I was kissing the hot brunette chick we came with.

But the best part was my baby kissing the brunette too.

Okay, it was only kissing, but it's a start.


Tuesday, July 22, 2008


You gotta watch this one. It's only 30-second and funny as hell!!!! LMAO!!!!!


Friday, July 18, 2008


As I mentioned in this HNT post, my deck is rotting away and so is the retaining wall around my pool. So before the retaining wall collapses or someone like me breaks a leg on a rotten board on the deck, I'm replacing the deck and retaining wall. The first step was to remove and/or trim back the bushes around the pool to gain access for replacing the retaining wall and access for the surveyor so he has a clear line of sight for his sighting instrument.

Here's some of the before pictures of my back and side yards.

Now the work starts.

I was going to have the tree trimmers clear everything out, but they couldn't come for two weeks. The contractor was going to do the rip out for the same price and would come right away, so I let him do it.

They trimmed back all of the small branches in the back and side yards and then pulled out the stumps.





While they were at it, I decided to remove two trees next to my driveway that have seen better days.




Then they loaded everything in a dumpster and hauled it away.

Now that all of the vegetation is gone, I got a good look at the retaining wall for the first time in years. I wasn't kidding when I said the wood was rotting. The entire bottom course of wood for the retaining wall has rotted away. I'm lucky it didn't collapse already.

The deck has several weak boards, so you have to watch your step so you don't fall through.

Then I called in a tree service to remove a large tree branch over hanging my pool and a 40 year old wild holly tree that is in the way of the footing for the retaining wall. The first thing the tree trimmers did was cut off that large branch.




Then the holly tree came down.




GONE! All that's left is a five feet high stump. They left it high like that so the bobcat has something to grab onto when they remove it. It's in the way of the retaining wall and has to be removed.

Then the branches were put in the wood chipper and the logs in the back of the truck.

Today the surveyors came and set the stakes for the property lines and the out line of the retaining wall.

This is how my outdoor project looks today.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Graduation HNT

Lately I've been cleaning out the old crap we've accumulated for the last 31 years living in this house. The last few days I've been going through the den, which is where we kept all the photos, souvenirs, tools, computer, old paper work, etc. Today I found tons of old photos, even more army paper work and my high school transcript.

I graduated high school a long, long time ago in 1966, forty-two frigging years ago. I wasn't exactly an A student, but more of a D student. Looking at the transcript I found, I discovered that I graduated with a 1.59 cum and finished 271st out of 370 in my senior class. I was surprised I'd finished so high in my class, because I was such a goof off. I can't believe there were 100 lazier people than me. Here's a copy of that transcript. Good grief, there sure are a lot of D's and F's.

Here's also a picture of me in my cap and gown, proving that I actually did graduate.


You have to check out my last post, because Lori and I were very naughty.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Another naughty night

Last week Lori and I went out for the "all you can eat snow crab legs". The food was great as always. Just before we left, Lori went to the potty through the bar and when she came back, she told me that the barmaid was really cute, had great legs and I should check her out.

Don't ya wish you had a girlfriend a lot like mine..........

Lori and I have a deal that we point out hot chicks for eat other, so that was cool.

I paid the check and then we walked into the bar to check out the barmaid. Sure enough, she was cute, IMO, hot actually, and had great legs, so we decided to stay. Actually I told her I wanted to stay and she readily agreed.

We started to sit down at the bar when this girl warned us about some wet seats. It seems that condensation was dripping from the overhead AC vents and dripping on some of the bar stools. Lori sat next to the girl and I sat next to Lori. This was my suggestion, because I knew Lori would strike up a conversation with her.

BTW, she had perky boobs, which I can attest to later.

FYI: To make a long story even longer, I will continue. Stick around, because this story gets a whole lot better and very naughty.

As I predicted, Lori and the girl strike up a conversation. Of course I joined in and so did her boyfriend, the girls friend and her boyfriend. We all were getting along very well. The couple were playing Wii bowling with this other guy. Time passes and the other guy taps me on the shoulder, says my name and introduces himself. He was John from the tee ball team I coached when my son was five, 21 years ago. He told me his best memory was the day we took him and a bunch of Brian's friend over to Fire Island on my boat when they were nine. Needless to say, I was touched that he recognized me and that those times left him with fond memories.

FYI: Now the good part starts.

Everyone is drinking, laughing, playing Wii bowling and having a general good time.

It was the barmaids birthday, so she decorated the bar with Marti Gras beads, which of course, everyone was wearing. Then I got this great idea to remind everyone that to get the beads, you had to flash your boobs. I flashed mine to get things started and got some beads. The girl Lori was talking too flashed her sexy black bra, so I gave her some of my beads.

FYI: She had very nice tits. I'd say a D cups.

Lori asks the girl if she has any tattoos and she proceeds to show us all of them. I'm sure how many exactly, but there was the one on her boob, the tramp stamp which flashed a good portion of her butt cleavage, one one her back which brought her shirt down revealing nice stuff and best one very low on her abdomen and very nearly exposing her most naughty bit. Come to think of it, I think we did see a bit of it.

Sorry, no pictures of those. We were too busy checking her out.

Next thing I know she drops her jeans and flashes her ass.

No, that's not my hand, it's Lori's.


It's really the boyfriend's hand, but Lori and I wished it was our hands grabbing her ass.

Then she shows us how limber she is, sit on the floor and raises her feet up over her head.

Here's a video that Lori took that night. Actually she took most of the pictures, because I've learned that she can get away with taking naughty pictures of hot chicks, where as I might get my ass kicked by the boyfriends and husbands for being a perv.

Life is good!

Don't ya wish you had a girlfriend a lot like mine..........