Chef Farmer HNT

You all know I'm a world famous gourmet chef, but did you also know I'm a world famous farmer too? Therefore, just call me Chef Farmer. Get it? Chef Farmer. LOL, I crack me up!!! LOL!!!!

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Last week I received an email from the local fish market, The Fish Store. It's in Bayport and has some of the best fresh seafood around. The email advertised a $20 make-at-home dinner special.

8 Pc. Shrimp Cocktail
1 lb. Box of Barilla Pasta
16 oz. Marinara Sauce (Sweet or Fra Diavlo)
½ lb. Cultivated Prince Edward Island Mussels
6 pcs. Local Little or Top Neck Clams
6 pcs. of large Shrimp (peeled and deveined)
¼ lb. Carolina Bay Scallops
1 Loaf of Delicious Italian Bread
Dessert choice of Rice Pudding, Bread Pudding, or Black and white pudding.

That seemed like a great deal, so Saturday on our way home, Lori and I stopped at the Fish Store and picked it up. We choose bread pudding and fra diavlo sauce. I made it on Sunday for dinner.

Here's what we bought, less the bread pudding, because I forgot to put in out when I took the picture.













I tasted their sauce, but it was too plain for me. I always doctor up anything pre-made. I added a few tablespoons of chopped garlic, the more the better as far as we are concerned; a health number of shakes of Italian seasoning and some fresh herbs from my garden. Let's not forget a few shakes of red pepper flakes.

Here's my garden. I love it and highly recommend you all get one. Tell them I sent you and they'll ask you who the fuck is he?









I harvested chives for extra onion flavor.....


(Psst, this is my HNT pic this week.)











..... and some basil for that, uh, basil taste?


(Psst, this is my other HNT pic this week.)














I added the herbs to the sauce and simmered it for a while while Lori and I had a bunch of gin & tonics and the shrimp cocktail.

When a while was up, I added the seafood to the sauce and simmered it for a short while.

Mean while, I pre-heated the broiler for the garlic bread I would be making.

When I figured that was enough a while's, I sprinkled the Italian bread with EVOO graded cheese and chopped garlic and turned on a pot of water for the pasta.

After several a while's more, I cooked the pasta and the garlic bread.

DINNER"S READY!!!!

How's it look?

Happy Mouth Watering HNT from the Chef Farmer!

Chef Farmer HNT

You all know I'm a world famous gourmet chef, but did you also know I'm a world famous farmer too? Therefore, just call me Chef Farmer. Get it? Chef Farmer. LOL, I crack me up!!! LOL!!!!

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Last week I received an email from the local fish market, The Fish Store. It's in Bayport and has some of the best fresh seafood around. The email advertised a $20 make-at-home dinner special.

8 Pc. Shrimp Cocktail
1 lb. Box of Barilla Pasta
16 oz. Marinara Sauce (Sweet or Fra Diavlo)
½ lb. Cultivated Prince Edward Island Mussels
6 pcs. Local Little or Top Neck Clams
6 pcs. of large Shrimp (peeled and deveined)
¼ lb. Carolina Bay Scallops
1 Loaf of Delicious Italian Bread
Dessert choice of Rice Pudding, Bread Pudding, or Black and white pudding.

That seemed like a great deal, so Saturday on our way home, Lori and I stopped at the Fish Store and picked it up. We choose bread pudding and fra diavlo sauce. I made it on Sunday for dinner.

Here's what we bought, less the bread pudding, because I forgot to put in out when I took the picture.













I tasted their sauce, but it was too plain for me. I always doctor up anything pre-made. I added a few tablespoons of chopped garlic, the more the better as far as we are concerned; a health number of shakes of Italian seasoning and some fresh herbs from my garden. Let's not forget a few shakes of red pepper flakes.

Here's my garden. I love it and highly recommend you all get one. Tell them I sent you and they'll ask you who the fuck is he?









I harvested chives for extra onion flavor.....


(Psst, this is my HNT pic this week.)











..... and some basil for that, uh, basil taste?


(Psst, this is my other HNT pic this week.)














I added the herbs to the sauce and simmered it for a while while Lori and I had a bunch of gin & tonics and the shrimp cocktail.

When a while was up, I added the seafood to the sauce and simmered it for a short while.

Mean while, I pre-heated the broiler for the garlic bread I would be making.

When I figured that was enough a while's, I sprinkled the Italian bread with EVOO graded cheese and chopped garlic and turned on a pot of water for the pasta.

After several a while's more, I cooked the pasta and the garlic bread.

DINNER"S READY!!!!

How's it look?

Happy Mouth Watering HNT from the Chef Farmer!

I Harvested My Dill

Well, some of it anyway. Lori and I were in the fish market last Saturday and she saw that they had a tuna salad made with fresh dill, chopped dill pickles and chopped red onions. So on Tuesday I made tuna salad too. I was too lazy to chop a pickle or an onion, so I just harvested some dill from my garden. (If you didn't already know why I have a garden, scroll down the page and find out why.) The problem was that I didn't use nearly enough fresh dill to make a difference, just a few tablespoons. I was too lazy to harvest more, so just ate the tuna as it was. Next time I'll harvest a lot more dill and even chop up some pickle and onion. Maybe, if I'm not too lazy that is.

I Harvested My Dill

Well, some of it anyway. Lori and I were in the fish market last Saturday and she saw that they had a tuna salad made with fresh dill, chopped dill pickles and chopped red onions. So on Tuesday I made tuna salad too. I was too lazy to chop a pickle or an onion, so I just harvested some dill from my garden. (If you didn't already know why I have a garden, scroll down the page and find out why.) The problem was that I didn't use nearly enough fresh dill to make a difference, just a few tablespoons. I was too lazy to harvest more, so just ate the tuna as it was. Next time I'll harvest a lot more dill and even chop up some pickle and onion. Maybe, if I'm not too lazy that is.

How's your day?

Mine, not so good?

My feet are cold.

Don't ya hate having cold feet?

In addition to that.

I'm almost out of gin & tonic.

Which means I have to go to the store and buy some.

Damn!

That means I have to get dressed first.

And that means I have to shower.

It wouldn't be right to put clean clothes on if I don't shower first.

As long I'm going to shower I might as well shave.

I hate shaving.

Maybe I'll grow a beard.

Naw, that would take too long to grow.

And I'd be all scratchy and shit for too long.

Lori complains when I'm all scratchy faced.

And that's not good.

Lori doesn't want to snuggle so close when I'm scratchy.

And you know how much I like my snuggling?

Speaking of Lori.

She ordered a pair of boots she wanted over the weekend.

I agreed to buy them for her if she gave me...........

Wait!

I'd better not tell you that.

She'd kill me if I told you what she promised to give me.

But it's really, really good.

So if I have a scratchy face.

Lori wouldn't want to snuggle so close.

That means she won't give me what she agreed to give me.

And I really want that.

So I guess I'll shave.

As long as I'm going to shave

I might as well shower too.

But then I have to get dressed.

And I like lounging around in my bathrobe.

But I have to get dressed so I can go to the store.

Because I'm almost out of gin & tonic.

But I don't want to go out.

And I don't want to shower.

Or shave.

Or get dressed.

But showering will make my feet warm.

And I really want what Lori promised me.

If I bought her the boots.

So I better go get the gin & tonic.

That solves everything.

Yep.

Getting gin & tonic solves everything.

I feel better now.

So how's your day?

How's your day?

Mine, not so good?

My feet are cold.

Don't ya hate having cold feet?

In addition to that.

I'm almost out of gin & tonic.

Which means I have to go to the store and buy some.

Damn!

That means I have to get dressed first.

And that means I have to shower.

It wouldn't be right to put clean clothes on if I don't shower first.

As long I'm going to shower I might as well shave.

I hate shaving.

Maybe I'll grow a beard.

Naw, that would take too long to grow.

And I'd be all scratchy and shit for too long.

Lori complains when I'm all scratchy faced.

And that's not good.

Lori doesn't want to snuggle so close when I'm scratchy.

And you know how much I like my snuggling?

Speaking of Lori.

She ordered a pair of boots she wanted over the weekend.

I agreed to buy them for her if she gave me...........

Wait!

I'd better not tell you that.

She'd kill me if I told you what she promised to give me.

But it's really, really good.

So if I have a scratchy face.

Lori wouldn't want to snuggle so close.

That means she won't give me what she agreed to give me.

And I really want that.

So I guess I'll shave.

As long as I'm going to shave

I might as well shower too.

But then I have to get dressed.

And I like lounging around in my bathrobe.

But I have to get dressed so I can go to the store.

Because I'm almost out of gin & tonic.

But I don't want to go out.

And I don't want to shower.

Or shave.

Or get dressed.

But showering will make my feet warm.

And I really want what Lori promised me.

If I bought her the boots.

So I better go get the gin & tonic.

That solves everything.

Yep.

Getting gin & tonic solves everything.

I feel better now.

So how's your day?

Your Laugh for the Day

I received a good email from my step mom. A few of these jokes are old, but still worth sharing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.

Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.

Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.

And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.

"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.

I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."

He addressed the man, “Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"

Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.

She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?

He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.

So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.

(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.

God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.

The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says . "HEBREWS"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Your Laugh for the Day

I received a good email from my step mom. A few of these jokes are old, but still worth sharing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.

Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.

Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.

And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.

"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.

I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."

He addressed the man, “Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"

Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.

She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?

He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.

So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.

(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.

God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.

The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says . "HEBREWS"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

My Crops are Growing Well

Remember the post I made about the Aero Garden Lori gave me for Christmas? I planted the seed pods on December 27th. This is what my garden looked like on January 8th.


Here's what it looks like today, about a month later. From left to right: mint, parsley, basil, purple basil, dill, chives and thyme.


Right now the dill is the tallest at 5 1/2 inches. The chives and basil were taller, but I trimmed them back a few days ago so they didn't hit the light. I wanted to let the other herbs catch up a little. Now I have to find some recipes I like so I can use them.

I hope y'all have a great weekend!

My Crops are Growing Well

Remember the post I made about the Aero Garden Lori gave me for Christmas? I planted the seed pods on December 27th. This is what my garden looked like on January 8th.


Here's what it looks like today, about a month later. From left to right: mint, parsley, basil, purple basil, dill, chives and thyme.


Right now the dill is the tallest at 5 1/2 inches. The chives and basil were taller, but I trimmed them back a few days ago so they didn't hit the light. I wanted to let the other herbs catch up a little. Now I have to find some recipes I like so I can use them.

I hope y'all have a great weekend!

I Told You So HNT

Don't I look smug?

And you thought the Green Bay Packers would beat the Giants last Sunday. LMAO!!!!!!! I told you the Giants would win and they are going to win against the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl too. Mark my word!!!

Happy HNT to all the Giant fans!!!!!!!!

PS
You know the best part, Jillie lost our bet and has to wear a Giant's tee shirt at her Super Bowl party. I can't wait for that one!

I Told You So HNT

Don't I look smug?

And you thought the Green Bay Packers would beat the Giants last Sunday. LMAO!!!!!!! I told you the Giants would win and they are going to win against the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl too. Mark my word!!!

Happy HNT to all the Giant fans!!!!!!!!

PS
You know the best part, Jillie lost our bet and has to wear a Giant's tee shirt at her Super Bowl party. I can't wait for that one!

I Got My Haircut

I got my haircut today and when I went to pay, the guy told me it was $10. I usually pay $12, so I questioned him about it. He pointed to the sign with the prices and pointed directly at the Seniors price line for those 65 and over.

I wanted to say, "LET'S MAKE THIS VERY CLEAR! I AM NOT FUCKING 65, I AM FUCKING 59!", but just smiled and told him I wasn't 65 yet. He mumbled something about trying to save me some money.

So everyone out there remember, I AM NOT FUCKING 65, I AM FUCKING 59! and don't you ever forget it! I'll let you know when I'm officially elderly. GOT IT!?!?!?!

I Got My Haircut

I got my haircut today and when I went to pay, the guy told me it was $10. I usually pay $12, so I questioned him about it. He pointed to the sign with the prices and pointed directly at the Seniors price line for those 65 and over.

I wanted to say, "LET'S MAKE THIS VERY CLEAR! I AM NOT FUCKING 65, I AM FUCKING 59!", but just smiled and told him I wasn't 65 yet. He mumbled something about trying to save me some money.

So everyone out there remember, I AM NOT FUCKING 65, I AM FUCKING 59! and don't you ever forget it! I'll let you know when I'm officially elderly. GOT IT!?!?!?!

OFFER-bra size 42 DDD, beige lace underwire

I just read that post heading on the Freecycle web site I told you about a few posts ago. I don't wear a bra, but I just might go get it to see her DDD's, I mean to donate it to Goodwill. It would be a shame to have DDD's without the proper covering get all chilly and stuff in this cold weather. I don't want to be responsible for frost bit nipples. It's only right, don't you think?

OFFER-bra size 42 DDD, beige lace underwire

I just read that post heading on the Freecycle web site I told you about a few posts ago. I don't wear a bra, but I just might go get it to see her DDD's, I mean to donate it to Goodwill. It would be a shame to have DDD's without the proper covering get all chilly and stuff in this cold weather. I don't want to be responsible for frost bit nipples. It's only right, don't you think?

THE GIANTS WON! THE GIANTS WON!

The New York Giants are the new NFL football champions! They beat the Green Bay Packers in overtime, 23-20! In Green Bay no less. By winning this game they set a new NFL record with ten consecutive wins on the road!

Take that Jillie! Take that Sign Gurl! Take that Os! And take that all the rest of you that didn't give the Giants a chance.

Now they go to the Super Bowl in two weeks to kick some New England Patriot ass!!!!!!!

Bring it on Patriots! Bring it on!

THE GIANTS WON! THE GIANTS WON!

The New York Giants are the new NFL football champions! They beat the Green Bay Packers in overtime, 23-20! In Green Bay no less. By winning this game they set a new NFL record with ten consecutive wins on the road!

Take that Jillie! Take that Sign Gurl! Take that Os! And take that all the rest of you that didn't give the Giants a chance.

Now they go to the Super Bowl in two weeks to kick some New England Patriot ass!!!!!!!

Bring it on Patriots! Bring it on!

I'm Going to be Rich!

I recently read that a 710 year old copy of Britain's Magna Carta was auctioned off for $21.3 Million! Only 17 copies are known to exist.

WOW! That is really something.

But you know what? I can top that! I have the one and only copy of an equally important document that's almost as old.

I have the original "Certificate of Birth Registration" for the infamous BTExpress!


My mom found it while going through some old stuff, so she sent it to me. My actual birth certificate was lost many years ago, so this is something I'm grateful to have.

I'm Going to be Rich!

I recently read that a 710 year old copy of Britain's Magna Carta was auctioned off for $21.3 Million! Only 17 copies are known to exist.

WOW! That is really something.

But you know what? I can top that! I have the one and only copy of an equally important document that's almost as old.

I have the original "Certificate of Birth Registration" for the infamous BTExpress!


My mom found it while going through some old stuff, so she sent it to me. My actual birth certificate was lost many years ago, so this is something I'm grateful to have.

Guess What This is HNT

Lori took a picture of one of my body parts and here it is. Your job, should you choose to accept it, is to guess which part of my hot, sexy, man machine this picture is of. STOP LAUGHING!!!!!! Lori thinks I am a hot, sexy, man machine and that's all that matters. There is a click through to find the answer, but I want you to guess first, then post your guess in the comments.

Happy HNT
and
Let's Go Giants!!!!!!

Guess What This is HNT

Lori took a picture of one of my body parts and here it is. Your job, should you choose to accept it, is to guess which part of my hot, sexy, man machine this picture is of. STOP LAUGHING!!!!!! Lori thinks I am a hot, sexy, man machine and that's all that matters. There is a click through to find the answer, but I want you to guess first, then post your guess in the comments.

Happy HNT
and
Let's Go Giants!!!!!!

Close-to-complete Ideology and Religion Shit List

There's not much going on around here.  I did go down to town hall yesterday and pay the first half of my property  taxes ($4,200).  I love living here on Long Island, but paying such high property taxes.  Oh, well, shit happens.  It part of life right?  Shit happens, of course, but how we respond to it depends on what religion you are.

• Taoism: Shit happens.
• Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
• Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
• Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
• Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
• Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
• Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
• Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
• Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
• Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
• Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
• Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
• Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
• Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
• Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
• Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
• Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
• Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
• Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
• Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
• Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
• Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
• Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
• Creationism: God made all shit.
• Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
• Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
• Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
• Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
• Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
• Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
• Darwinism: This shit was once food.
• Capitalism: That's MY shit.
• Communism: It's everybody's shit.
• Feminism: Men are shit.
• Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
• Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
• Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
• Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
• Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
• Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
• Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
• Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
• Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
• Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
• Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
• Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
• Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock<>
• Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
• Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
• Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
• Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
• Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
• Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time.
• Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
• Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
• Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
• Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
• Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
• Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
• Atheism: What shit?
• Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!
• Nihilism: No shit.
  
  
• And of course we must add...Alcoholics Anonymous: Shit happens-one day at a time!

http://snipurl.com/1vnq3

Close-to-complete Ideology and Religion Shit List

There's not much going on around here.  I did go down to town hall yesterday and pay the first half of my property  taxes ($4,200).  I love living here on Long Island, but paying such high property taxes.  Oh, well, shit happens.  It part of life right?  Shit happens, of course, but how we respond to it depends on what religion you are.

• Taoism: Shit happens.
• Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
• Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
• Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
• Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
• Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
• Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
• Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
• Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
• Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
• Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
• Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
• Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
• Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
• Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
• Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
• Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
• Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
• Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
• Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
• Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
• Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
• Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
• Creationism: God made all shit.
• Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
• Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
• Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
• Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
• Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
• Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
• Darwinism: This shit was once food.
• Capitalism: That's MY shit.
• Communism: It's everybody's shit.
• Feminism: Men are shit.
• Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
• Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
• Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
• Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
• Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
• Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
• Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
• Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
• Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
• Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
• Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
• Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
• Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock<>
• Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
• Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
• Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
• Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
• Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
• Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time.
• Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
• Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
• Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
• Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
• Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
• Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
• Atheism: What shit?
• Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!
• Nihilism: No shit.
  
  
• And of course we must add...Alcoholics Anonymous: Shit happens-one day at a time!

http://snipurl.com/1vnq3

My Stepmother Can Do This Too

I'll bet this is one of the reasons why my dad fell in love with her? ;-)

My Stepmother Can Do This Too

I'll bet this is one of the reasons why my dad fell in love with her? ;-)

NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT BABY!!!!!!

My New York Giants kicked some Dallas Cowboy's ass yesterday!!!!!! The Giants were a 7 1/2 point underdog, but won it GIANTS 21, COWBOYS 17.


WOOT!! WOOT!!

It was the ninth consecutive road victory for the Giants, an NFL single-season record and overall franchise record. Next Sunday Giants will travel to Green Bay to face the Packers in the NFC Championship Game. Who ever wins that game goes to the Super Bowl.
Just before the end of the game yesterday, I got a telephone call from my good friend Jillie Bean. Lori and I met Jill in November 2006 when we flew out to San Diego to cheer her and the rest of the Beach Babes on when they took the 3-Day Breast Cancer walk. We have been dear friends ever since.

Jill knows I'm a big Giants fan and called me to congratulate me on the Giant's big win. That was really nice of her. Thanks Jill, I really appreciated it!! Jill is a Green Bay Packer Fan and since she lives in San Diego, she a defacto Charger fan too. Both of her teams won over the weekend too. We congratulated each other and had a nice chat.

I wake up this morning and check my blog comments. Okay, it was 1:00 this afternoon and not this morning, but who's counting?. I read this comment from Jillie on yesterdays post about the Top Ten Country Western Songs.

Those are funny. OK Tony...now our team loyalty will be making us enemies on Sunday. But whoever wins, may it be a good game and then we can be friends again ;o) SO BRING IT ON BABY!!!!! xo

That sounds like a challenge to me, so why wait until Sunday for us to be enemies! GRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you guys don't already know, Jillie is about the biggest Green Bay Packer fan there is. She even has one of those STUPID cheese heads the true Packer fans wear. **snicker**

So, my dear clumsy Jillie, I'm challenging you to an NFL Throw down ala Bobby Flay!!!! We just have to agree on the stakes.

So Jillie, the ball is in your court. What's it going to be? Cheese heads at 20 paces? LMAO!

LET'S GO GIANTS!!!!!!!

I'm even going to up the ante and root for the New England Patriots to kick the Charger's ass next weekend too.

NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT BABY!!!!!!

My New York Giants kicked some Dallas Cowboy's ass yesterday!!!!!! The Giants were a 7 1/2 point underdog, but won it GIANTS 21, COWBOYS 17.


WOOT!! WOOT!!

It was the ninth consecutive road victory for the Giants, an NFL single-season record and overall franchise record. Next Sunday Giants will travel to Green Bay to face the Packers in the NFC Championship Game. Who ever wins that game goes to the Super Bowl.
Just before the end of the game yesterday, I got a telephone call from my good friend Jillie Bean. Lori and I met Jill in November 2006 when we flew out to San Diego to cheer her and the rest of the Beach Babes on when they took the 3-Day Breast Cancer walk. We have been dear friends ever since.

Jill knows I'm a big Giants fan and called me to congratulate me on the Giant's big win. That was really nice of her. Thanks Jill, I really appreciated it!! Jill is a Green Bay Packer Fan and since she lives in San Diego, she a defacto Charger fan too. Both of her teams won over the weekend too. We congratulated each other and had a nice chat.

I wake up this morning and check my blog comments. Okay, it was 1:00 this afternoon and not this morning, but who's counting?. I read this comment from Jillie on yesterdays post about the Top Ten Country Western Songs.

Those are funny. OK Tony...now our team loyalty will be making us enemies on Sunday. But whoever wins, may it be a good game and then we can be friends again ;o) SO BRING IT ON BABY!!!!! xo

That sounds like a challenge to me, so why wait until Sunday for us to be enemies! GRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you guys don't already know, Jillie is about the biggest Green Bay Packer fan there is. She even has one of those STUPID cheese heads the true Packer fans wear. **snicker**

So, my dear clumsy Jillie, I'm challenging you to an NFL Throw down ala Bobby Flay!!!! We just have to agree on the stakes.

So Jillie, the ball is in your court. What's it going to be? Cheese heads at 20 paces? LMAO!

LET'S GO GIANTS!!!!!!!

I'm even going to up the ante and root for the New England Patriots to kick the Charger's ass next weekend too.

Top Ten Country Western Songs

10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine.

9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With a Few.

8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.

7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin'.

6. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win.

5. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here.

4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him.

3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger.

2. She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer.

And the Number One Country & Western song is...

1. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass Out All Day Long.

Top Ten Country Western Songs

10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine.

9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With a Few.

8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.

7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin'.

6. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win.

5. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here.

4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him.

3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger.

2. She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer.

And the Number One Country & Western song is...

1. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass Out All Day Long.

This post is dedicated to my baby, Lori.

Ellen DeGeneres is one of Lori's favorites.



I think she's one of my favorites now too.

This post is dedicated to my baby, Lori.

Ellen DeGeneres is one of Lori's favorites.



I think she's one of my favorites now too.

The nature of men

Not too long ago I signed up for a daily email at a web site called "Funniest Stuff on the Net". This is one of the latest videos I received and I think you get a kick out of it. The last scene is particularly funny.

The nature of men. Click to watch.

You can subscribe to videos like this here. Funniest Stuff on the Net.

The nature of men

Not too long ago I signed up for a daily email at a web site called "Funniest Stuff on the Net". This is one of the latest videos I received and I think you get a kick out of it. The last scene is particularly funny.

The nature of men. Click to watch.

You can subscribe to videos like this here. Funniest Stuff on the Net.

Naughty or Nice HNT

Lori gave me a pair of "Naughty or Nice" boxers for Christmas. The words "Nice""you can see in the day light, but the "Naughty" part you have to wait until the lights are out to see. Which is appropriate for the naughty part, don't you think? ;-)

This is the nice part.

Here's the hidden naughty part.

Lori FINALLY did an HNT post this week, so stop by her blog and see what she's up to.

Naughty or Nice HNT

Lori gave me a pair of "Naughty or Nice" boxers for Christmas. The words "Nice""you can see in the day light, but the "Naughty" part you have to wait until the lights are out to see. Which is appropriate for the naughty part, don't you think? ;-)

This is the nice part.

Here's the hidden naughty part.

Lori FINALLY did an HNT post this week, so stop by her blog and see what she's up to.

My Crops Have Sprouted

You heard me right, my crops have sprouted. Yea, I know it seems like a strange time to start growing crops, but hey, it's me your talking about, so let me explain. Lori gave me an Aero Garden for Christmas. A couple of days later I "planted" my first crop. This one is herbs. I'm growing basil, purple basil, mint, chives, parsley, dill and thyme. Here's what it looks like a few days ago.


I can't wait to harvest my first crop. I love using herbs in my recipes, especially fresh ones. Aero Garden offers strawberries and tomatoes too, so let's see what I grow next.

My Crops Have Sprouted

You heard me right, my crops have sprouted. Yea, I know it seems like a strange time to start growing crops, but hey, it's me your talking about, so let me explain. Lori gave me an Aero Garden for Christmas. A couple of days later I "planted" my first crop. This one is herbs. I'm growing basil, purple basil, mint, chives, parsley, dill and thyme. Here's what it looks like a few days ago.


I can't wait to harvest my first crop. I love using herbs in my recipes, especially fresh ones. Aero Garden offers strawberries and tomatoes too, so let's see what I grow next.

Get Free Stuff

Last week I joined an online group called "The Freecyle Network". Here's how they describe themselves.

The Freecycle Network™ is made up of 4,215 groups with 4,313,000 members across the globe. It's a grassroots and entirely nonprofit movement of people who are giving (& getting) stuff for free in their own towns. It's all about reuse and keeping good stuff out of landfills. Each local group is moderated by a local volunteer (them's good people). Membership is free.

I've already given away some things I didn't want and picked up my first freebie on Saturday.

Thursday I saw a post from someone remodeling his bathroom and was looking for sheet rock. I had five full sheets that were left over from the remodeling of my bathrooms and from when my son and his friends finished my garage. They were in my way blocking a shelf in my garage and I wanted to get rid of them. So I replied to the post asking for the sheet rock. The guy came on Friday and took them off my hands.

Friday morning I saw another post from someone looking for old suitcases and other miscellaneous supplies for a church that is sponsoring a mission to Nicaragua. They need the suit cases to carry stuff for the trip and store things in when they get there. I had six old ones just taking up space in my basement, so I replied to the post and offered them. Someone came two hours later and picked them up. I also gave him a box of school supplies that Barbara had, but never used. Some of the school supplies they will take to Nicaragua and the rest the kids in the church will use for crafts.

Early Saturday afternoon I saw a post offering a chrome paper towel holder that goes on the counter. I didn't have a holder, so offered to take it. Not 15 minutes later a woman replied to me that I could have it. She gave me her address and said that she put it on an old milk crate outside her front door and to come and get it. She was only five minutes away, so I replied I would be over later. About an hour later I picked it up.

Here it is. The thing looks brand new and goes great in my kitchen.



I've seen all kinds of things being offered or being asked for. I saw a microwave oven, two dish washers, even left over unopened bags of chips, plastic cups and paper plates someone bought too much of. The list is endless.

The stuff really is free and they say they have groups all over the world. Lori's brother lives in Connecticut and signed up for his area. I highly recommend joining if you want to get rid of your useless crap or get someone else's useless crap. But let me warn you that you will receive A LOT of emails from them, A LOT! I get up you 150 a day. Since late last night I received about 60. So do yourself a favor and open a new email address that will be used just for Freecycle. That way it will keep your regular Inbox free of their emails. I use a Yahoo.com email address for it.

Good luck and let me know how you make out.

http://www.freecycle.org/

Get Free Stuff

Last week I joined an online group called "The Freecyle Network". Here's how they describe themselves.

The Freecycle Network™ is made up of 4,215 groups with 4,313,000 members across the globe. It's a grassroots and entirely nonprofit movement of people who are giving (& getting) stuff for free in their own towns. It's all about reuse and keeping good stuff out of landfills. Each local group is moderated by a local volunteer (them's good people). Membership is free.

I've already given away some things I didn't want and picked up my first freebie on Saturday.

Thursday I saw a post from someone remodeling his bathroom and was looking for sheet rock. I had five full sheets that were left over from the remodeling of my bathrooms and from when my son and his friends finished my garage. They were in my way blocking a shelf in my garage and I wanted to get rid of them. So I replied to the post asking for the sheet rock. The guy came on Friday and took them off my hands.

Friday morning I saw another post from someone looking for old suitcases and other miscellaneous supplies for a church that is sponsoring a mission to Nicaragua. They need the suit cases to carry stuff for the trip and store things in when they get there. I had six old ones just taking up space in my basement, so I replied to the post and offered them. Someone came two hours later and picked them up. I also gave him a box of school supplies that Barbara had, but never used. Some of the school supplies they will take to Nicaragua and the rest the kids in the church will use for crafts.

Early Saturday afternoon I saw a post offering a chrome paper towel holder that goes on the counter. I didn't have a holder, so offered to take it. Not 15 minutes later a woman replied to me that I could have it. She gave me her address and said that she put it on an old milk crate outside her front door and to come and get it. She was only five minutes away, so I replied I would be over later. About an hour later I picked it up.

Here it is. The thing looks brand new and goes great in my kitchen.



I've seen all kinds of things being offered or being asked for. I saw a microwave oven, two dish washers, even left over unopened bags of chips, plastic cups and paper plates someone bought too much of. The list is endless.

The stuff really is free and they say they have groups all over the world. Lori's brother lives in Connecticut and signed up for his area. I highly recommend joining if you want to get rid of your useless crap or get someone else's useless crap. But let me warn you that you will receive A LOT of emails from them, A LOT! I get up you 150 a day. Since late last night I received about 60. So do yourself a favor and open a new email address that will be used just for Freecycle. That way it will keep your regular Inbox free of their emails. I use a Yahoo.com email address for it.

Good luck and let me know how you make out.

http://www.freecycle.org/

NFL PLAYOFF NEWS ALERT #1

My/the New York Giants just won their first playoff game!!!! WOOT, WOOT!!!!!!!

Next week they'll kick the Dallas Cowboys asses (Sandi)!!!!!!

LET'S GO GIANTS!!!!!!!!!

Good luck San Diego for my ever so beautiful, sexy, klutzy friend Jillie Bean!!!!!

Edit: The Chargers won! Congratulations Jillie!!!!

NFL PLAYOFF NEWS ALERT #1

My/the New York Giants just won their first playoff game!!!! WOOT, WOOT!!!!!!!

Next week they'll kick the Dallas Cowboys asses (Sandi)!!!!!!

LET'S GO GIANTS!!!!!!!!!

Good luck San Diego for my ever so beautiful, sexy, klutzy friend Jillie Bean!!!!!

Edit: The Chargers won! Congratulations Jillie!!!!

Inquiring minds want to know.

It's fucking cold here. The wind chill is below zero and I needed something to warm me up. Luckily I came across this funny video.

Ladies /babes/chicks/but not broads, chicks don't like to be called broads, do you think men leer at you when you're not looking?



I didn't want to leave out the men, so here is a question for them. Men, do you think women check you out when your not looking?



My guess, is the answer to both of my questions is without a doubt YES.

Me, I check out the ladies /babes/chicks/but not broads, chicks don't like to be called broads every chance I get, but I really wanted to know what you horn dogs do. So please let me know if you check out the opposite sex.

Inquiring minds want to know.

It's fucking cold here. The wind chill is below zero and I needed something to warm me up. Luckily I came across this funny video.

Ladies /babes/chicks/but not broads, chicks don't like to be called broads, do you think men leer at you when you're not looking?



I didn't want to leave out the men, so here is a question for them. Men, do you think women check you out when your not looking?



My guess, is the answer to both of my questions is without a doubt YES.

Me, I check out the ladies /babes/chicks/but not broads, chicks don't like to be called broads every chance I get, but I really wanted to know what you horn dogs do. So please let me know if you check out the opposite sex.

New Year HNT

Lori and I want to wish you all a very Happy New Year. We hope that 2008 is the best year ever for y'all and may you be happy, healthy, get lucky and snuggle a lot the whole year through.

New Year HNT

Lori and I want to wish you all a very Happy New Year. We hope that 2008 is the best year ever for y'all and may you be happy, healthy, get lucky and snuggle a lot the whole year through.

So far I've had a great year.

Lori has been here since late Sunday night. This morning we woke up at 11:00 and then snuggled. Then I put on the coffee and Lori made ham and french toast and served me breakfast in bed. We've been in bed all day on our laptops. She even made a post, so stop by Lori's blog and see her New Years resolution.

It's 4:00 and that's when Happy Hour starts in my place, so Lori just brought me a gin & tonic in bed. When we get hungry, I'll make dinner in the new steamer she gave me for Christmas. I'm making pork medallions with peaches and brown rice. I have a freezer full of vegetables, so we'll decide which one I'll make later.

Yep, the New Year is off to a great start. :-)

So far I've had a great year.

Lori has been here since late Sunday night. This morning we woke up at 11:00 and then snuggled. Then I put on the coffee and Lori made ham and french toast and served me breakfast in bed. We've been in bed all day on our laptops. She even made a post, so stop by Lori's blog and see her New Years resolution.

It's 4:00 and that's when Happy Hour starts in my place, so Lori just brought me a gin & tonic in bed. When we get hungry, I'll make dinner in the new steamer she gave me for Christmas. I'm making pork medallions with peaches and brown rice. I have a freezer full of vegetables, so we'll decide which one I'll make later.

Yep, the New Year is off to a great start. :-)