Monday, August 07, 2006

Nigerian Spammer - Part 8

I heard back from the bank three days ago.

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FUND RELEASE INSTRUCTION VIDE BILL No.TIB/1/7289/04, SUM-US$7. 500,000.00 ON ACCOUNT No.0227300025/99

This is to acknowledge receipt of your mail.
View Attachment to see your Payment Scheduled .........
Attention :

Following the conclusion of all procedural actions and verification necessary to intiate the transfer of the funds to your designted account which you will reconfirmed to us in your next reply,
1: Your Account Number / Routing Number
To enable us not to Transfer the fund to a wrong account.
We have the singular honour to inform you that the board of this bank has given its tentative approval for the funds in question to be transfered to you. You are immediately to remit to this bank the mandatory 0.1% governmental/taxation charges as acrued on your funds amounting to exactly 750$ ( Seven Hundred and Fifty US Dollars).
I suggest you embark upon this action today so that the board can give its final approval once the taxation/governmental requirements have been met.

The banks receiving officer for the governmental/taxation charges are below, hence you are to use this information through ( western union Money Transfer ) below for the transfer.

RECEIVING NAME: OKONJI AMAECHI DANIEL
RECEIVINGADDRESS: LAGOS - NIGERIA
QUESTION: WHO IS MY HELPER?
ANSWER: GOD.

Do send the transfer information immediately you have sent it to this email address for further action. I suggest that you maintain the rate at which your file is being treated by effecting the transfer today ..
Please, confirm the receipt of this mail.
View Attachment to see your Payment Scheduled .........
Thank you for your co-operation and congratulations!!

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LOL... they want my routing number again. What dicks! They sure have bad memories, because I already told them "I ain't git no routing number and don't know where to get one".

I guess my delay in sending the money to OKONJI AMAECHI DANIEL is starting to worry my friend William because this morning I got two emails from him. The first one was received at 5:30 am.

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Dear Good Partner,
How are you ?
The bank has the transfered the fund to your account and you kept silnece.
Urgent reply needed.
Barr William

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The impatient son of a gun sent me a second email just three hours later at 8:51 am.

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Dear Milburn,
What seem to be the sitiuation of things ? Why are you silent? We are in the last stages of this transaction and i dont need no flops .
Get back at me immediately you get this mail .
Barr William


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I waited all day to answer the bank just to worry Willy some more and then at the last minute, I decided not to reply to the bank but to ask my barrister Willy for some help. I figured a little more delay can't hurt, right?

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Hello Willy!
Sorry for not gettin back to you sooner but I don't work weekends cause it's agin my princlpies to work on off days and this here moneys deal is a hell of a lot of work so far. I'm not used to all this here work for sure. I need your help wit something. I got another email from the bank and that stupid Dr Musa Bako what is the directer of the bank says I needs a routing number after saying I don't needs one. I already told yous all that I don't have one and don't know where to get one and that I need you or the bank to help me or something. Anyways, read the email he sent me and tell me where to get a routing number and what I got to do. And he wants some money. You never said i had to give no body any money. That $750 is a heck a lot .
Fondly
Milburn

PS
Ellie May says hi. I thin she likes you. Do you like her?

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Oh, fuck it! Why keep the bank waiting? It might ruin the deal..................NOT! ;-)

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Dear Mr Dr Bako,
I am excitedly happy I am getting the moneys, but what the fuck is this about a routing number again? I already told you I don't know where to get one. Then you told me I don't need ones. Now yous tell me to give it to you again. Where do i get a routing number? And i already give you my account number befere so why is you axing me fer it again? Why do i need to gives you $750? That's a plum heck of a lot of moneys! How about yous just take it from the money I am getting? Seems to me that is a heck of a lot easier huh?
Regards
Milburn Drysdale

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I wonder what happens next? LMAO!

5 comments:

barman said...

You know the sad part is I see other people have formed groups to do the very same thing you are doing Tony. That seems to be about the only thing that can be done with these jerks as the Feds are not interested in doing anything unless money was actually stollen.

I love your last line. More or less "Why not just take it out of the 7,500,000"? That was exactly what I was thinking. I am surprised they have not gotten frustrated and given up. I sure wish these jerks could be put away. To bad their government will not do anything about it.

The Guy in the Back said...

Nothing quite as fun as teasing a telemarketer. Or in this case, a spammer.

gab said...

I needed a good laugh today. Thank you.

Monogram Queen said...

What gets me is there really someone, somewhere who falls for this crap?

Blondie... said...

I cannot begin to explain how much I LOOOOVE reading this...

Fucken A, Tony... Fucken A!

hahahaha