Monday, November 20, 2006

Lori’s “Other” Birthday Present

Lori had to go back to work this morning, but with BEING RETIRED AND ALL, I got to go back to bed and rest up after the ‘work out” Lori gave me yesterday. This morning, uh, I mean this afternoon, I got up at 1:10 PM.

THIS WAS THE BIG WEEKEND! I was finally getting that “Other” birthday present Lori promised me. I knew what it was already, so that’s why I think I was so excited the time had finally arrived for me to get it.

When we woke up Saturday morning, I wanted to get right to it, but Lori said no, I had to wait until we did the chores I promised we would do first. You see, Lori’s mom and dad are coming down from Rhode Island for Thanksgiving at Lori’s place. Then next Sunday they will be coming to my place to visit. Since I clean my house less frequently never than most people, and Lori wants her parents to think I’m not a total slacker as far as cleaning goes, we had to get the place cleaned up first.

I knew what that meant.

Saturday was the day we cleaned up the basement and Sunday was the day Lori cleaned my house while I did other chores.

Cleaning my basement on Saturday was something I was dreading. But we had to get all that stuff crap we took off of the boat out of my living room and make room for it in the basement.

(You remember the post I made when Lori helped me clean out my boat? If not, check it out. You’ll find a nice shot of Lori you horn dogs will definitely want to see.)

Here's the junk from the basement I put out to the curb.


Sunday was another day of cleaning only a lot more work. Lori was going to clean my house from top to bottom. You know the drill; both bathrooms, the kitchen, dust the living room, dining room and my bedroom and then vacuum the whole house. It was a project and a half to say the least.

To give you an example of how much work Lori had in store for her, I haven't dusted my dresser in about 3 years. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You say? I told you I hated cleaning.

A few hours into the cleaning, Lori found time to clean and season a chicken for dinner and get it in a vertical roaster we found in the basement yesterday.


(FYI – The chicken was excellent! She seasoned it with McCormick’s Grill master Montreal Chicken seasoning. I highly recommend it.)

All the while Lori was busting her ass, I was putting together a liquor cabinet that was to go in my dining room.

(If you ask me, I had the easy job. Lori had to clean the whole fucking house. Did I ever tell you how much I hate cleaning?)

The liquor cabinet came in this big ass heavy box and had to be assembled. So I open the box, found the directions and started to work.

"Assemble, qty 2 (A-1) into part T while ........................... ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! WTF are they talking about!!!!!!!!!


"By jove, I think I'm getting the hang of this!"


"I hope these two halves fit together"


HOLY CRAP! They do fit! Here I am with my trusty screw driver, gin and tonic and fully assembled “Other” present.


"What? You mean I'm not done yet?"


Yes, I cleaned up my mess, with Lori's help of course. The last thing left to do is make all this fit.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks Lori, I love my "other" present!

Baby, I also want to tell you again how much I appreciate you doing all that work this weekend. I hope you will forgive me for being "cleaning impaired".

Do you think maybe, just maybe, that my fat **** and my other special talents help make up for my inability to clean?

I sure hope so.

Love you baby!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PS
I’ll bet you perverts were thinking the "Other” present had to do with sex, didn’t you? Well, this time you were wrong.

8 comments:

LORI said...

YES, my sexy baby. your fat **** and "other" special talents, more than make up for your messiness. As long as i can have ALL OF YOU, i will clean your house forever!

BTExpress said...

Oh good. I was hoping you'd say something like that. :-P

lime said...

Lori rocks, bTE! you really hit the jackpot there, my friend. what i want to know is....does she paint and will she come here and help paint my house before the in laws descend for christmas???

patti_cake said...

Of course that's what I thought... cleaning is not my forte' either.
Lori is da best!

P.S. Tony have you lost weight? lookin' good there :)

jillie said...

Ok...I have to admit it. My mind WAS in the gutter!! LMAO....does Lori do windows? I have TONS...just ask Jodi...yeesh! You two are the bomb!

Jodes said...

that is so cool and yes I suppose you can put me in the pervert catergory with the rest of them.

Sandi said...

You know.. your blog posts always make me smile:)

I hope that someday I find the relationship that you and Lori have...you look like you have a ball together:)

BTExpress said...

Lime - There is NO ONE like my Lori. You'll have to ask her if she'll do your chores, but my guess is she'll say no. I'm going to try and keep her busy here. If it's not with chores, it will be with, uh, uh............ How can I put this delicately? Anyway, you know what I mean.