Why Men Are Just Happier People

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

*Your last name stays put.
*The garage is all yours.
*Wedding plans take care of themselves.
*Chocolate is just another snack.
*You can be president.
*You can never be pregnant.
*You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
*You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.
*Car mechanics tell you the truth.
*The world is your urinal.
*You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
*You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
*Same work, more pay.
*Wrinkles add character.
*Wedding dress $5,000. Tux rental -- $100.
*People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
*The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
*New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle you r feet.
*One mood -- all the time.
*Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
*You know stuff about tanks.
*A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
*You can open all your own jars.
*You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
*If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
*Your underwear is $5.95 for a three-pack.
*Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
*You almost never have strap problems in public.
*Everything on your face stays its original color.
*The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
*You only have to shave your face and neck.
*You can play with toys all your life.
*Your belly usually hides your big hips.
*One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
*You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look
*You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
*You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
*You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 45 minutes.

***No wonder men are happier!