Sunday, May 29, 2005

Alone...

I was watching the Indy 500 today and thought about how alone I am now. It's almost like Barbara wasn't here anymore and Brian moved out.

Even though Barbara is still hanging in there, she spends most of her time in bed sleeping or just laying there staring. Even if I get her out into the living room to sit in her chair, she pretty much justs sits and stares or sleeps. It's been like that for awhile now.

My son Brian is still living with us, but he works 6 days a week, from 2 in the afternoon till 10:30 at night. Then he usually goes out. I might get to see him if I stay up late enough, and on the weekend before he leaves for work, but the conversations are short.

You know, it's weird not actually being alone, but being alone.

5 comments:

Lucky Pink said...

I know that feeling... feeling alone even though I'm surrounded by people.

aughra said...

But isn't hospice such a blessing? They are helping both of you so much.

BTExpress said...

Hospice really is a blessing and they do so much for us. It's like they are angels on earth put here to take care of us.

Sarah said...

I'm sorry, BTExpress. I felt like that right after B left for a while. It's better now, but there are still times that I can't shake the loneliness. Hang in there. People out on the Internet are with you and thinking about you!

BTExpress said...

Thanks Sarah, I know you are. We've been married almost 33 years and spent practically all our non-working time together. Now to go from having someone to to be with all the time, and share everything with, to practically having no one, is a VERY, VERY big change.