The Date: It was 1968, I think it was July, but maybe August, but do you really care?
The Age: 19 years old
The Place: Good Old’ Columbia South Carolina
The Reason for Being in That Shit Hole: I was in the US Army learning to be an Infantryman. Yep, I was drafted in May of that year, destined to be just another poor grunt to get shot in Vietnam, or in my case blown up. But that’s another story.
Basic training at Fort Jackson was very restrictive, but once that was over, we were all sent to AIT (Advanced Individual Training) to learn the job we would do for the next two years. I was selected to be a sacrificial lamb and train as a grunt, i.e., infantryman, so I didn’t leave Fort Jackson. I was just sent to another part of the base.
While I was in AIT, most weekends I was off and pretty much free to do what I wanted. I usually choose to spend my weekends in downtown Columbia, South Carolina, if I had any money.
When we went into Columbia, I always checked into the same crappy hotel, because it was the cheapest. I drank beer in the cheapest bars and occasionally ate somewhere, also cheap. That was pretty much all I ever did until the night I lost my virginity.
I was in Columbia that weekend, drinking and occasionally eating, like I always did, and was with one of my friends, I’ve long ago forgotten his name, but that’s not important. We just left one of the seedy bars we always frequented, and were on our way back to the hotel, when my friend spotted two girls. One was pretty good looking with a nice body, and one a little not so nice looking, and on the heavy side. I’ll give you one guess, which one I eventually wound up with.
My friend walks over to the girls, talks to them for a half a minute and then comes back over to me. He tells me he wants to hook up with these ladies, but it will cost us each $15.
Let me tell you, I don’t want to do this, no fucking way. I’d only had two girlfriends in my entire life up to that point, and I’d never even got past touching one of the girl’s boobs, over her clothes. Now he is crazy if he thinks I am going to jump ahead to actual fucking. Not on his ever loving life. The thought of fucking one of those girls scared the shit out of me. I couldn’t believe that he actually wanted me, a virgin’s virgin, to actually screw some strange girl he saw on the street. I had to make up an excuse to get out of this.
“I don’t have enough money, I only have $3.00.”
“That’s okay, I have money. Let me see how much I have.”
“Okay. I got $21.00.”
“That’s not enough,” relieved that we were short the cash.
“But with your $3.00, and my $21, that makes $24.00. Let’s see if they’ll take it. I’ll loan you the difference.”
“I’m not going to owe you money for this. Let’s just get out of here.”
“Okay, I’ll give you the money. You won’t owe me.”
“Let’s leave and go get some more beers.”
“What’s the matter? Haven’t you ever had sex before?”
“Sure I have, plenty of times.”
“So then, what’s the problem?”
Son-of-a-bitch, he played the “Virgin” card on me. Damn, I couldn’t tell him I was a virgin, now could I?
“No problem, see if they’ll take it.” I say.
I prayed they turned him down, but just my luck, they agreed to the price. We walked back to their place. It wasn’t that far, just a short walk outside of town. We get to their place, a house with a porch and no front door, no shit, no front door. We walk in and one of the girls walks up to this guy and talks to him. The other girl walks over to bathroom and sits down to pee. No door on that room either. I remember thinking I can’t believe she is peeing right in front of everyone.
Well, she gets done peeing and all four of us walk into this room. It has one bed. My friend and his girl get on the bed, take off their clothes and start fucking. There is no room for the four of us on the bed, so the girl I’m with lays down on the floor fully clothed and lifts her skirt. She refuses to take off her clothes.
I look down and "it" is right there, staring me in the face. The biggest, hairiest muff I'd ever seen. Not that I'd seen any muffs up to that point, but now that I've seen a few in my days, it really was the biggest and hairiest I was ever going to see. I drop my pants, get down on the floor between her legs, and for some unknown reason, I’m thinking a miracle at that point, I find my way to home base, first shot. I start doing my thing. Then as soon as I started, I cum, but I don’t loose a stroke. I just keep going and going, you know, like the Energizer Bunny, just like nothing happened.
I didn’t pay $12.00 for this shit to end in a minute-30, so I’m getting my money’s worth out of this. I figure I’ll just going to keep going until she makes me stop. No sooner as that thought crossed my mind, she says,
“You done yet?”
“No, not yet.”
I don’t say a word and just keep fucking. Next thing I know, there’s a knock on the door. She pushes me off and says times up. My friend’s girl pushes him off, and jumps off the bed and gets dressed. I pull up my pants and my friend gets dressed complaining about how fast that was, the whole time. The door opens and this guy says, “Times up. Now you two get out of here.” My friend shuts up. This whole adventure couldn’t have been more than 5 minutes, tops.
We go out into the hall and run into two guys we were in AIT with. They tell us things don’t look good, and we better get out of here quick, before we get our asses kicked. Now I have no idea what is going on, but being a white guy, in a black neighborhood, in the deep south in 1968, and being told things don’t look good, sets me running out the front door as fast as I could. The four of us took off together. We stuck to the back yards, hopping fences and hiding in bushes all the way back into town. I never looked backed.
Well, nobody followed us and we made it back to our hotel rooms in one piece. We were all safe and sound in those sleazy hotels in downtown Columbia South Carolina. The next morning I woke up alive, and caught the bus back to the base ready for my next adventure in Good Old'’ Columbia South Carolina.