Monday, October 02, 2006

Sad News

I got a call from one of Barbara's sisters this morning that their father passed away on Saturday. He has had cancer for about seven or eight years and has been deteriorating for quite a while. I'm glad he is finally over this and the pain and suffering he's had to endure for so long. Not only for his sake, but for my mother-in-law's too. I'll tell Brian about this when he gets home this evening.

I have a problem now. How do I handle this? What is my place at the wake and funeral? I'm just not sure what to do. If Barbara was still alive, I'd know my place, but she's not. Any help you could give me in this will be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

10 comments:

lime said...

oh hon, i'm sorry. condolences to you, brian and you in-laws. you're still their family and i'm sure your presence will be comfort to them. if you are really uncertain about how to participate (and i do understand a sense of awkwardness) ask gently by reminding them of your love for them all and asking what their wishes are, what would be most meaningful to them.

hugs to you. you're a dear one, tony.

MamaKBear said...

Oh Tony, I'm so sorry!

In my opinion, I bet they'll always think of you as their son-in-law, even if Barbara's gone now. You loved their daughter so much for so long, how could you NOT still be family to them??? I agree with Lime, I'm sure your presence would be a comfort to them.

Big hugs...thinking of you!

Tommy said...

Sorry to hear about that Tony. I agree with Lime. I would call them and give my condolences and remind them that you are available in whatever capacity they need you for. Then just wait for them to tell you. If they don't need you for anything particular, you can just be there as a part of the family for support. Good luck man.
TG

patti_cake said...

So sorry to hear of your loss Tony. I lost my FIL last December and I miss him so.
I think you should go to the wake/funeral as support for Brian if nothing else. But... you were such a wonderful husband to Barbara i'm sure they consider you part of the family even with her gone.

kaliblue said...

Sorry to read this Tony, but you're right he is no longer suffering.
I agree with others.
Go to the Wake/Funeral. You are still their family:-).

Sis B said...

go with brian. you're family, even though she's gone. of course it wouldn't be appropriate to take lori, but you know that.

gab said...

Im sorry to hear that your FIL has passed. Yes by all means go you were once a big part of that family and Brian is still a big part. Go and give them your support and give them comfort. All my best wishes to you hun! Hugs

Samantha Alice said...

All of the above. He was your son's grandfather, at the very least, whether or not you stayed close after you lost Barbara.

Sorry for your loss.

Roxi said...

I have no idea but I still love you babe..

Lucky Pink said...

I'm not sure why my comment didn't post last night, but I think you should go. Brian will appreciate your support and so will Barbara's family. Barbara's passing away did not remove you from her family. Unless you're on bad terms with her family, I think it would be "wrong" of you not to go. I'm sure you being their will be meaningful to them. If you're not comfortable attending just be sure to give them a call and send a card or something to remind them you care.