Sunday, July 30, 2006

Nigerian Spammer - Part 6

I'm glad you all are enjoying this Nigerian Spammer Series. I forgot how much fun fucking with these guys was and I really am having a ball doing it. Now without further delay, Part 6 in this little saga.

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Since my partnaer Willy is no help with the Routing Number, I decided to ask the bank for help. Here's the email I sent. I put “HELP!” in the subject line.

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Dear Trans International Bank PLC,
I am having trouble getting together all the infermation yous asked me for. I have been trying to get my barrister, Barrister Willy Ibru to help, but he is an idiot and is of use what so ever. I don't know if he just can't read English or what his problem is but I got no faith in his help anylonger. My last chance is to axe you guys for help. See, I'm lookin to get a routeing number but don't know where to get one. Also he says he send you the avadavid and I want to make sure you got it too.
Sincerly yours,
Milton Drysdale

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Surely since these guys are a bank they can get me my “Routeing” number, right? Don’t bet on it. LMAO!!!!!!!

Within an hour after my last email, I got the following email from the bank. I'm going to start leaving out the heading and closing in their emails to save space. They never change anyway.

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However, to enable us effect the payment as directed you are hereby requested to send us the following documents needed for the processing of the claim as this was not in your payment file:

1 An identification of your person (copy of your driver's licence OR first two pages of your International Passport will suffice)

2 A confirmation of your receiving bank account details for the receipt of the fund.

Please note that remittance of the funds is subject to compliance with directives 1-2 above.
Thank you.

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LOL! What do you think, is this bank run by relatives of my partner Willy the Spammer? I figured they got my email but just don’t how to answer me either. I think the whole “Routing” number thing has them stumped. Let me see if I can make it clearer to the bank.

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I guess you dint get my last email or you wouldnt'a asked me for my bank account details. Here is what I sent you in my last email.

Dear Trans International Bank PLC,
I am having trouble getting together all the infermation yous asked me for. I have been trying to get my barrister, Barrister Willy Ibru to help, but he is an idiot and is of use what so ever. I don't know if he just can't read English or what his problem is but I got no faith in his help anylonger. My last chance is to axe you guys for help. See, I'm lookin to get a routeing number but don't know where to get one. Also he says he send you the avadavid and I want to make sure you got it too.
Sincerly yours,
Milton Drysdale

Can you help me wit this stuff?

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My ignorance is starting to piss off the bank. They are going to yell at me in the next email I got from them.

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Listen, all we want from you is your banking Details.

2 A confirmation of your receiving bank account details for the receipt of the fund.

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Now it’s my turn to yell at them. LOL!

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Dear Dr Musa Bako,

I know you want banking details, but like I told you, I don't know where to get the routing number, whatever the fuck that is. I axed William where to get one, but he's an idiot and no fucking help what so ever. So I figered I'd ask you. Look! I just need soemone to tell me where i kin get a FUCKING ROUTING NUMBER!!!! Can you help me or not!

In addition, did you get the avadavid from William?

Fondly,
Milburn M. Drysdale

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Didn’t you just love the way I signed the email, “fondly” after yelling at them? LOL!

I’m having such a good time fucking with these guys. You won’t believe what their response is going to be.


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We have receive the SWORN OF AFFIDAVIT from your Barrister William Ibru.

You are advise to send to our departement your Banking Information. Forget about the rounting number, just send your banking details for your transfer to be effective

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OMFG, I can't believe they told me to “FORGET ABOUT THE ROUTING NUMBER”! I finally frustrated everyone. I love it.

I have a question though. Isn’t the routing number a significant part of the “Banking Detail”? Don’t they really need that to transfer the money into my account? Or, if I was really gullible enough to give them my “Banking Details”, wouldn’t they need the routing number to empty my bank account and take all my money?

I think I’ll let them all squirm for a couple of days before I answer them. Besides, I have to figure out what “Banking Details” are. Do you think the bank or Willy can help me find them?

10 comments:

gab said...

ROTFLMAO!!!!! OMG that is so funny. I cant breath I am laughing so much that if I was drinking milk it would come outta my nose and probably my eyes!

Lucky Pink said...

LMFAO!!!!!! You are so funny!!!

barman said...

I bet that if you want the money bad enough you could get the bank name and call them and get the routing number. They probably would do that. Of course every time they call a working number over here (yea right) they can not get through so no worries.

You know if this does not end soon I am going to have to call the SPCS. The Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Spamers.

Thanks for all the entertainment.

patti_cake said...

LOL @ Barman this is too funny :)

miss_lissa said...

omg.. now this is some funny stuff!!

Libby said...

you are an INSPIRATION to EVERYONE, tony!! i LOVE this!!

Jes said...

You should send them directions to your bank!!

The Lily said...

Oh my lord! This is TOO much! I'm hooked!

No One In Particular said...

Hurry up & send them the info so you can get rich, Tony! haha

Mark Leslie said...

Oh man, you're killing me with this series - gotta love it! Thinking of playing my own games like this - thanks for the inspiration to piss off these spammers . . .