Friday, July 28, 2006

Nigerian Spammer - Part 5

Things are moving pretty fast right now. I get an email from him almost everyday now. Let me catch you up.

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Dear Good Partner,
What actually seem to be the problem?I tried several times calling you yesterday and i keep getting the same reply,wrog number .
Please i need to know ,how commited you are in assisting with the funds.
Time is not on our side,get back at me immediately you get this mail .How is your sister doing?
Thanks..
William Ibru

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Ellie May will be happy he's asking about her. But WTF? How dare he question my commitment? I'm starting to get upset with him. ;-) Time to slow things down some and make him nervous. Hee, hee, hee...........

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Dear Mr Ibru,

Why are you insulting me? You is really startin to piss me on! I ain't done nuthing but try to git a straight answer from you and you never answer my questions. I don't have a problem, but it's is you that seems to a problem.

A. Like I'd told you a bunch of times I got no idea what a routeing number is and need your help in getting one. I will only ask you one more time. WHAT IS A ROUTING NUMBER AND WHERE DO I GET ONE?

2. I still aint got no affidavit from you.

c. There aint no problem with the telephone number. Are you calling the right number? (202) 324-7126 Maybe you is dialing it wrong. Do any one answer? What do you get when you call it?

So you see, you ai'nt nerver answer my questions so it is you and ain't me holding thins up, not me. Why do you question my commitment? You is the one.

Milton

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Still haven't gotten that telephone call from him. I guess he gave up trying. He is apologizing to me though. I suppose he got a little worried when he got that last email from me.

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Dear Good Partner,

I just received your mail with the point noted.

The ROUTING NUMBER IS THE NUMBER GIVEN TO YOU BY YOUR BANK WITH YOUR ACCOUNT NUMBER.

I HAVE SENT THE AFFIDAVIT TO THE BANK ON YOU BEHALF.

ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS TO SEND TO THE BANK YOUR ACCOUNT NUMBER WITH THE ROUTING NUMBER GIVEN TO YOU BY YOUR BANK.

AM SORRY FOR ANY INCONVIENCE .

URGENT REPLY NEEDED.

BARR WILLIAM

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LMAO!!!! He sent the "Sworn Affidavit" on my behalf? How does he swear to something for me? This guy is the stupidest one I've dealt with so far.

Now I'm going to get really upset because he can't help me find my "Routing Number". I'm starting to think maybe he doesn't even know what it is. This is my next email.

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WHAT THE FUCK IS A ROUTING NUMBER? MY BANK GAVE IT TO ME? GAVE IT TO ME WHERE? WHAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? I DONE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Gee, I hope I don't make him mad and scare him away. Like that will happen? LOL

I was so relieved when I saw his reply the next morning.

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Dear Good Partner,
I just received your mail with the point noted.
Please do not delay our life time opportunity. I want you to send your BANK DETAILS TO THE BANK TODAY.
Urgent reply needed.
Barr William Ibru

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I was ROTFLMAO when I read that one. Obviously Willy isn't going to be any help finding my "Routing Number" so I'll just have to try something else.

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You are of no help what so ever! How you ever became a barrister is beyond me. Since you can't tell me where to get a routing number, I'll ask the bank and see if they can help me find one.

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I guess I'll just have to see if the bank can help me find my routing number.

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13 comments:

patti_cake said...

You horrible man stringing an innocent like Willy along like that! Tee Hee!

kaliblue said...

You are having way to much fun *giggles*.
Have A Great Weekend!!

gab said...

OMG I was rotflmao and my hubby wanted to know what was wrong with me. I let him read your delemia and he said if they already sent an affidavid to your bank they dont need a routing number for crying out loud! Have a great weekend keep us updated.

Queen of Ass said...

So was the bank any help?

And you don't even get a COPY of this thing sent on your behalf? What horrible paperwork skills this guy has!

Jodes said...

tooooo freakin funny!!! you go dude.

MamaKBear said...

I am loving this!

Kitten said...

I am enjoying this more than Desperate Housewives!

Jes said...

Finally had a chance to get up on your blog...this is just too funny!!!

Sell the boat?

I'm just thrilled for you and Lori!!

Libby said...

oh, keep him going, tony, for ALL of our entertainment!!

Lucky Pink said...

You may find this shocking, but right now there is MAJOR fraud going on with money sending money to Nigeria via Western Union. Western Union will no longer send money to Nigeria without verifying with the retailer that it really IS supposed to be going to Nigeria and it isn't a scam.

Wenchy said...

I am loving this!

Lucky Pink said...

****waiting for Nigerian Spammer Part 6***

barman said...

I missed this before the next part cane out. Let me just say I hope the bank is able to help with the routing number.

I can not believe how stupid these people are. Why didn't they only ask for simple things that you could provide? Why don't they tell you to provide all the numbers at the bottom of a check to them? How could anyone not see through them? These people should get locked up just for being stupid.

Now of to read part 6. Hey be careful. I don't know what the weather is like there but we hit 99 today with high humidity.