Wednesday, December 13, 2006

How Not To Repair A Leaky Shower Faucet

Note: Read part one of this saga here before reading this post.

1. Accurately measure from the wall to the center of the shower faucets.
*I got 14 inches (No, not there you horn dog!)
2. Check on the other side of that same wall to see if you can get to the desired location.
*I couldn’t because the desk was in the way. See yesterday’s post.
3. Make a path so you can get to the desired location.
*I hated this part, because it was too much like actual manual labor and I’m really pretty lazy.
4. Get out your trusty utility knife.

5. Start cutting out a section of the wall.

6. Using said utility knife, slice ones throat because this is difficult and one doesn’t feel like working so hard.

7. Decide that step 6 is a stupid idea, because you’d just have a bloody mess to clean up and get back to work.

8. Keep cutting.
*Nobody said this was going to be easy or go quickly.

9. Remove shirt because your now hot a sweaty and just keep cutting.

10. Don’t turn your back on a horn dog with the camera that likes your plumber’s crack.

11. Because she’ll take a lot of pictures of said plumber’s crack.

12. I hope your enjoying this.

13. I know Lori did, because she loves the way my ass looks.

*Don’t get too excited yet. What about the leak?

15. Now turn on the hot water.
16. Visually inspect plumbing to locate leak.

*Your right, I don’t see any water either.

19. How about down there?
*Nope, not there either.

20. Go back down stairs and see if any water is coming down from the ceiling in the basement.
*Nope, nothing.

*I SWEAR THERE WAS A REALLY BAD LEAK YESTERDAY. See yesterday’s post for the reason I went through all this.

22. No sense getting all worked up over this, just relax and be grateful you don’t have to work on the pipes and make a gin & tonic.
*Crap, out of lime juice!

24. Add lime juice to the shopping list.
23. Drink your gin & tonic then hang out and wait to see if it leaks again.
*Because you know someday it will.


Anonymous said...

You really should consider publishing a "FIX IT LIKE BT EXPRESS WOULD!" home repair book. With pictures, of course. And your own special BT recommended G&T recipe.

jillie said...

LMAO at that one Tony!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...14 inches...wooohoooo...let's hear it for the "big" guy!!

BTExpress said...

Lucky Pink - Hmmm, good idea. I'll even autograph a copy and send it to you for suggesting it.
As soon as I get those cookies you promised me a year ago. ;-)

Jillie - Why do you think Lori is always smiling? ;-)

BTExpress said...

Jillie - J/K, but I'll bet Lori wishes "it" was 14" LOL

SignGurl said...

Just say no to crack! Ok, not your crack since Lori thinks it's cute.

jillie said...

Hey "crack" me up!!!! LOL

barman said...

Man with another "crack" like that ... wait a minute, I got nothing.

I love it when you take us step by step for a repair job. I know you saved yourself a lot of effort but I sure wish that sucker would leak and just get it over with. I would take a shower and see how it looks after that. I mean if the water was hot then there must have been some water that was flowing to allow it to be hot.

Good luck on that and the 14"

lime said...

dayum, that is aggravating! i am glad you decided againt #6!