Monday, July 27, 2009

IS MY STEP MOM TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING?

Summer Classes for Men at
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Friday, August 16th 2009

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM


Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.

Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM..

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.

Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice..
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.

Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum

Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health
Graphics and Audio Tapes.

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.

4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing

Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Send this to all the guys that you think can stand the heat, and to all the ladies for the best chuckle of their day!

4 comments:

Libby said...

lol, tony! could be worse, it could be from lori!

cello mum said...

I think my husband should enroll :) My mother used to leave a recipe for ice-cubes on the freezer when I was growing up...

gab said...

I need the bathroom one taped to my bathroom wall!!! With 5 guys in this house (well one still in diapers but not for long)Im forever yelling who peed on the seat, wall, floor etc! and boy do I hate to be the one to clean it up all the time!
Now on a not so nice note.....a memory from
Wayyyyyyyyy back when Mr Gab used to drink, (he never knew when to stop)His cousin and Mr Gab and myself were up north for a school reunion. We stayed in a motel. The guys had been drinking all day and into the night. When we finally got back to the motel and yes they were still drinking one of them announced they had to go. He made it as far as the door of the bathroom and started to go from there. Now mind you the tolit was waaaaaaayyyyyyyyy toward the back of the room quit away from the door. Now it was on. Both Mr Gab and his cousin decieded to have a peeing contest to see who could make it the closes to the tolit from the door way. pew....Now this is bad enough but I was pregnant at the time and I had to go ALOT myself. I threw towels on the floor to waddle my way back to the tolit so I could go. Thank god they soon passed out. Unfortunally in the morning no one could take a shower as we had no towels. I always wonder what the owners thought when they went to clean that room? lol man we were stupid when we were young.

BTExpress said...

You're right Libby, it could. LOL

Cello - Mine too, but I wasn't good at following direction. ;-)

Gab - Ewwwwwww...... As bad as I am, I've never been that gross.