Tuesday, February 06, 2007

SQUAWKS

I LMAO when I read this one. Hope you enjoy it.


Squawks

"Squawks" are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some squawks submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.

(P)=PROBLEM (S)=SOLUTION

(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire

(P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough
(S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft

(P) #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid
(S) #2 Propeller seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4 propellers
lack normal seepage

(P) Something loose in cockpit
(S) Something tightened in cockpit

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
(S) Evidence removed

(P) DME volume unbelievably loud
(S) Volume set to more believable level

(P) Dead bugs on windshield
(S) Live bugs on order

(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent
(S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground

(P) IFF inoperative
(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode
(IFF-Identification Friend or Foe)

(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
(S) That's what they're there for

(P) Number three engine missing
(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search

(P) Aircraft handles funny
(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious!

(P) Target Radar hums
(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the lyrics

7 comments:

Angela said...

LOL. Communications ain't it grand?. Glad you, Lori and the young'uns had a great time. I tried to post a comment on it but blogger was a pain again. no serprize:-).

barman said...

To cute, I love it. Thanks for the pick me up.

Libby said...

yes, tony, thanks for the best laughs i've had in a long time!

lime said...

bwhahahaha. i love a snarky retort.....

CozyMama said...

hahahaha, those are good...and Lime said Snarky - I love that word.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the chuckle! Great stuff!

Monogram Queen said...

Bwaaaa haaaa I love sarcasm!