Rest In Peace Bill HNT

Lori's father passed away last week.
The world is a poorer place without Bill.

William H. Colwell
September 19, 1924 - February 18, 2010

I miss the old guy and truly loved him. We got along so well and had so much in common it was scary. Like me, he had a great sense of humor, loved the honeys as he called them and was an electronic technician like I was. He was also a veteran of the army.

Bill was born, raised and except for his time in the military, lived there for the remainder of his life. Bill enlisted in the United States Army Air Force in 1942 and served as a radio operator in a C-47 cargo plane during the last few years of World War II. His unit was based in China and flew supplies back and forth to the front in support of China during those years.

(FYI, Japan and China had been at war since 1937, which was called the "Second Sino-Japanese War". That war ended when Japan surrendered at the end of World War II.)

In 1947 the Army Air Force was turned in to the Air Force, which is where Bill served the remainder of his tour until he retired in 1965. After Bill retired he used his electronics training to repair TVs and such until he retired. He used to drive around the area on garbage day looking for TVs put out for trash. He repaired them and then either gave them away or sold them for the cost of the parts it took to repair them. He also gave more than a few to his church.

Bill is in God's hands now and I'll miss him.

Rest In Peace Bill HNT

Meet Marvin, Men's answer to Maxine!!!

Men strike back!

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How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me....'
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How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-- --------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.

It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men...

...until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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2010 Olympics HNT

The Olympic Flame or Olympic Torch is a symbol of the Olympic Games. Commemorating the theft of fire from the Greek god Zeus by Prometheus, its origins lie in ancient Greece, where a fire was kept burning throughout the celebration of the ancient Olympics.

During the torch's trek though the USA, Lori and I had the pleasure of hosting the torch bearer for one night.

Happy 2010 Olympics HNT

For funny medical info from Nestles, .....

..... call the Nestle Hot line at 1-800-295-0051. When asked if you want to continue in English or Spanish, wait quietly for about 10 seconds and you will smile. Keep going and press 4. then press 7.

I actually LOL.

PS
I know some of you are concerned, so here a medical up date on the condition I mentioned yesterday. My dick feels so much better. Carry on.

You know something?

It hurts like hell when you nick your dick with the scissors while trimming the nether region.

Snow Day HNT

Today was a snow-tastrophe in the northeast........... again. It was great day to stay in doors eating take-out Chinese food in bed.

HAPPY SNOW DAY HNT!

And God created dog

The Story of Adam & Eve's Pets

Adam and Eve said to God, 'Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.'

And God said to them, 'I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.'

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.

And it was a good animal.

And God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve, and he wagged his tail

And Adam said, 'Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom, and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.'

And God said, 'I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.'

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve, and was a companion to them and loved them.

And they were comforted

And God was pleased.

And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, 'Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.'

And God said, 'I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.'

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.

And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.

And Adam and Eve learned humility.

And they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased . . .

And Dog was happy. .

And Cat didn't give a shit one way or the other...

I hope my son doesn't break his collar bone this year.

My son Brian plays roller hockey. Yesterday he had his second game and lost 11-4 just like the first game. I’m not really that surprised since his team is comprised of a bunch of “whomever they can get to play on the team” type team that just don’t have time to practice as a team. It all just for fun, nothing serious, just fun.

Did I leave out that both teams they played so far are teams comprised of really good players? Players that are professional frigging roller hockey players. YES, professional roller hockey players. World champion caliber hockey players none the less! Players that were on the teams that won the worlds in Europe and Japan.

A little background is in order. I live on Long Island in New York. Long Island it seems, was where roller hockey started. It spread through out the world with teams in Europe, Japan, etc. That’s how good the local teams are here.

You know what, loosing to world champions 11-4 is something to be very proud of.

My Mom

As many of you know, my 88-year-old mother has been in a nursing home since March. Last week I received a call that due to further decline in her overall health, they are putting her under the care of hospice on Thursday. My mom has been complaining for months about how tired she is of being in this condition. Soon, maybe she can get the rest she so desperately wants. God bless you mom!

THREESOME HNT

Last weekend I was in bed with two beautiful girls.


What? Technically it was a threesome and all three of us were in my bed. Okay, we were on my bed, but I'm still counting it.

three·some (thrsm)n.

1. A group of three persons or things.

2. An activity involving three people.


The little one is three years old and nicknamed Mushy. Lori's daughter Bethany was baby sitting Mushy for a friend of her last weekend. While Bethany cleaned my house (yes, I pay her) Mushy watched TV with us in my bedroom to keep her out of the way.

HAPPY THREESOME HNT

CHARITY AUCTION HNT

This is a picture of Lori & I last November at the 2009 Annual Charity Auction and Dinner at the Atlantis Marine World Aquarium. She works there. I would have posted the picture sooner, but it just came this week.



If you play your cards right, I might be able to get you free passes. FYI, boobie pictures are a guarantee for free passes, just saying.

HAPPY BOOBIE PICTURES FOR FREE PASSES HNT

My Computer HNT!

*&%!$*) %#$@#$ %^&&^%$E #
W@!#$ %&** T%$@ @!$%^&!!!!!!

Now that I have that off my chest, my laptop has been acting up. She has been a bad girl, a very bad girl. For the last few weeks she has been in a very bad mood. If computers had PMS, that's how'd I describe how she's been acting.

You'd think I'd recognize the symptoms and try to make her feel better before things got too bad, but no, I'm an idiot. Like most guys are when their girl has is in a bad mood, we run and hide and try to ignore her. It's usually much safer, but not when it comes to computers. You have to step up, be forceful and do what you have to do to fix things and make her feel better. You know, assert yourself.

IMPORTANT! DO NOT TRY THIS WITH HUMAN WOMEN LESS YOU RISK DEATH!

Did I step up? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I just ignored her. I guess you nknow how that turned out? Not well at all. She freaked out and ignored me. She ignored all my advances. All of my feeble attempts to make her feel better. No matter how hard I tried, she just wouldn't cooperate at all. She just ignored me. Things got so bad, she wouldn't even let me access my porn bookmarks.

That was the straw that broke the camel's back.

I knew then it was time. Time to bite the bullet and make up to her. To give her gifts and try and make it all better. I gave her a clean hard drive. I gave her a new operating system. I gave her countless other gifts. She accepted all of my gifts or I wouldn't be telling you this story.

I learned my lesson and will know better next time. What ever, it's water under the bridge now. I've spent countless hours the last couple of days making her feel better again. It was A LOT of work. This has been a rough couple of days.

I can't wait until summer and get back in the pool.

Happy Looking Forward To Summer HNT
and
The Big Pool Party!

BET YOU CAN'T WAIT TO COME
TO MY AUGUST 7TH POOL PARTY EITHER.

Daddy, how was I born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?'

The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:

You got male!

HAPPY NEW YEAR HNT!

New Years Eve Lori and I went to her son Adam and his girl friend Nadine's place. Good food, good times and I behaved myself all night.

We had drinks and dart lessons while we waited for everyone to arrive for the party. Notice how attentive I am. The gin & tonics made it a little difficult to concentrate. The hot babe, I mean the young lady teaching us darts didn't help my concentration either.






e had a nutritious dinner. What? Whipped cream is made from dairy and that is healthy, right?







We had dinner in a tight knit group. Don't ask me why, it was a rule or something, but I really didn't mind at all.







Then we played darts. When it was my turn, no one stayed around to watch. What's up with that?

May this coming year be better than the last and may you all find a way to come to my blogger pool party in August.

HAPPY NEW YEAR HNT!

MY FAVORITE HNT OF 2009

Is this year over already? Boy, does time fly.

The rules: This is your chance to show off which HNT that you posted this year is your favorite! Not someone else's HNT, but your own. And tell us why it's your favorite! Newbies are encouraged to do this as well, even if you've only posted a handful. It can be your favorite for many reasons--because of the circumstances, or because you had "help" taking it, or because you're smiling--whatever... But most important, it's got to be one of YOUR HNTs.

This weeks HNT was even harder for me than lasts weeks. To me, my HNT's represent the good times I've had during the year. How the hell am I supposed to pick just one out of all the ones I did this year? I'll tell you what, it wasn't easy.

Come on! How am I suppose to choose between the HNT about our trip to the Grand Canyon. Or the HNT where I had to give Lori a good spanking for forgetting her camera. How do I not pick the HNT I did about our BFF Jill and her friend Robert's visit? Then there's all the HNTs about the pool parties I had this year.

Since the pool parties out numbered the others, I decided I'd have to choose one of those. There was the one about YOUR invitation to my POOL PARTY OPEN HOUSE next August. The pool parties with friends or the pool parties with family. I finally settled on the Birthday Pool Party HNT.

Settled? That is so NOT the correct word. The birthday pool party was all about lots of drinking, plenty of food, topless chicks, naked asses, skinny dipping, chicks touching each other, a butt rub by me for the poor girl that fell on her bum. I'm trained in first aid so it's okay. And no, it wasn't Lori's ass I rubbed. Don't worry, I told her. And my new under water digital camera, which, BTW, was the best $161 I ever spent. There were 231 pictures taken, but sorry, no pictures, because what happens in my new back yard resort, stays in my new back yard resort and on my laptop. Unless you want a picture of my naked ass. You know something? It's good to be me. :-)

Damn, that was a great party. Yes, I guess this really was my favorite HNT of 2009.

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Birthday Pool Party HNT

Last Friday night we had a birthday pool party at my place for one of Lori's daughters. I spent almost all the night in the pool floating around on my noodle.

At one point I decided to float over to the waterfall and check it out.







Don't you just love looking at the waterfall?

Happy My Favorite HNT of 2009!

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POOL PARTY OPEN HOUSE
AT BTEXPRESS' LONG ISLAND, NY BACK YARD RESORT!

REMEMBER TO KEEP OPEN AUGUST 7TH THIS SUMMER SO YOU AND A LOVED ONE, OR NOT YOUR LOVED ONE, BUT SOMEONE YOU WANT TO HAVE A GOOD OLD FASHIONED NAUGHTY GREAT TIME WITH.

Three Christmas Wishes HNT

It's that time of year when Os goes theme crazy. Last week was the Christmas Tree HNT, this week it's Three Christmas Wishes and next week it's our Year's Favorite HNT. This weeks theme is especially difficult. We have to choose just three bloggers, but not someone particularly close to us and come up with the best Christmas gifts ever. Here are the three people and my fantasy gifts for them.

GAB - That vacation her and her husband haven't been on in five years. A two week, all expense paid trip to New York next summer, so her and her husband can attend my pool party.







Mark Leslie - An all expense paid world tour to promote that New York Times #1 best seller he's going to write.







Shumpy - An invitation to travel with Jimmy Buffet on his next tour. Including front row tickets and back stage passes at each venue. All expenses paid of course.










I know this is against the rules, but I have a wish for me. I wish that it would get warm here for a week or so and melt all this damn snow left by that blizzard last Saturday. The weather peeps said we had 19.8 inches, but by my measurement, we had 25.5 inches.

WTF?

Happy Three Christmas Wishes HNT

Speaking of pool party. I'm having a pool party this coming summer on August 7th. Check out the side bar for the count down clock. Let me know if you want to come to New York for fun and a chance to meet Os and a lot of other fellow bloggers.

IT'S STARTING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS HNT

Mr. Osbasso requested we post a picture of our Christmas tree this week. He said that he wanted to see pictures of our "trees", but we all know what he really wants. He want to see us nekkid and the more nekkid the better.

You all know I have no problem with getting nekkid! So without further ado here's my Christmas tree and I both nekkid.

ALMOST CHRISTMAS HNT

Merry Christmas to me from the Town of Islip

I received my property tax bill today and my property taxes only went up $150 this year. No, I'm not happy, they are still $9,272.58.

HALLE-FUCKING-LUJA

My outdoor project is finally complete. It took nine months, but today the last thing on the project list was completed!

CHEESE CAKE HNT

Sorry I missed last week, but my computer crashed and I had several things to make for Thanksgiving. I made mashed potatoes, creamed onions and pumpkin cheese cake. Let me take you through the steps in making the cheese cake.

It was decided that I would make a cheese cake. Like the title says, it really is impossibly easy to make.












Gather all the necessary ingredients.















The first step is always to make a drink. I my case it's a gin & tonic.















I think I'll have another sip.
















Carefully measure each remaining ingredient and dump them into a blender.



















That was tough, let's have a drink.
















Then toast the blender for luck.




















Turn on the blender and have another drink.















Spray a 9-inch pie plate, or in my case pie tin with cooking spray.

















Holding that button down made me thirsty, so have another drink.















Then pour the mixture into the pie tin.


















That blender was really heavy, I think I need a drink.














Pop the pie tin into a preheated 375 F oven for 45 minutes.














Celebrate getting this far with a drink.















While the pie bakes, make the topping. In this case, it's sour cream and a little bit of sugar.














Mix that up and place into the refrigerator until the cheese cake is finished baking.














Since I have to wait for the cheese cake to finish baking, I may as well have another drink














It's taking a long time, so lets have another drink while we wait.














It's finally done baking.














Let's celebrate how good it looks with a drink.















Spread the topping on the cheese cake and refrigerate for at least 4 hours.














Take a drink to celebrate your success.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING PUMPKIN CHEESE CAKE HNT!