I am going to be rich!

I got on the Nigerian Spammers email list again. A few days a go I received two of them. I usually just delete them, but this time I decided to see how long I could string them along.

I’ve done this before and it was always good for a laugh. One time I was a crooked pastor stealing money from my church, another time I was an escaped convict and once I told the guy I worked for the Nigerian Ambassador to the United Nations. That one went on for almost three months. The guy broke it off when I told him I flew back home on vacation and was in town to pick up the money.

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CAN YOU ASSIST?

> Barrister William Ibru,
> Principal Partner,
> William Ibru & Associates.
> 36 Fola Agoro Street,
> Lagos.
>
> Dear Sir/Madam,
>
> I am William Ibru, personal attorney to Mr Patrick A, an
> expartriate who used to work with Nigeria Agip Oil Company
> (NAOC), here in Nigeria. On the 21st of December 2004, my
> client was killed in an auto mobile accident.Since then I
> have made Several enquiries to locate any of my client's
> extended relatives. This has proved unsuccessful. After
> several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to trace his
> relatives over the Internet hence I contacted you.
>
> I contacted you to assist me in repartriating the money left
> behind by my client before they get confiscated or declared
> unserviceable by the bank where this deposit was lodged.The
> name of the bank is Trans international bank,where the
> deceased had an account valued at US$7,500,000.00(Seven
> Million, Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars).
>
> The bank issued me a notice to provide the next-of- kin or
> have the account confiscated. Since I have been unsuccessful
> in locating the the relatives, I seek your consent to
> present you as the Next-of-kin to the deceased,so that the
> proceeds of this account valued at US$7.5M can be paid to
> you and then you and I can share the money; 55% to me and
> 40% to you, while 5% will be for expenses and inheritance
> tax, as your government may require.
>
> I have all necessary legal documents that will be used to
> back up our inherittance claims. All I require is your
> honest co-operation to enable us see the deal through. I
> guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate
> arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the
> law.
>
> To commence the process of claiming the funds, I will
> require the following information:
> 1. your full names.
> 2. your telephone and fax numbers.
> 3. your contact address.
> 4. your date of birth.
> 5. your occupation
>
> As soon as I recieve these information I will file-in a
> formal application to the bank for the inheritance in your
> name as next-of-kin of the deceased. That will enable the
> bank to process the transaction with you as beneficiary.
>
> I thank you once again and I await your urgent response
>
> With best regards,
> William Ibru

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This is my reply.

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Dear Barrister William Ibru ,

I really could use the $7,500,000, but I ain't related to this guy. You see, my phone has been turned off cause I ain't got no money to pay the bills. Granny was arrested for making moonshine. Pa was caught hunting possums on the federal preserve and is in jail until he pays the $5,000 fine. Jethro lost his chance for that college scholarship when he was left back in the sixth grade for the eighth time. If this money don't get here soon, Ellie May will have to start hooking. Miss Hathaway is already hooking, but she is so ugly, she don't bring in much in the way of money.

Here's all the information you axed me for.

1. Milburn M. Drysdale
2. Phone/Fax: (202) 324-7126
3. Commerce Bank of Beverly Hills
935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington, DC 20535
4. 7/4/33
5. Bank President

This ain't illegal, is it? I don't want to brake no laws because I'm on parole and will get life if I screw up one more time.

Fondly,
Milburn

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It should be noted that the address and telephone number I gave the guy, is for the FBI.

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Today I got two emails as a follow up to my reply. The first one tells me it’s a go and the second has copies of documents proving to me that this guy is legitimate.

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Dear Partner,

Thanks for your email received forwarding the requested information. Be informed that I have commenced on the processing of the inheritance claim in your favour.

I will forward your contact details to the Bank - TRANS INTERNATIONAL BANK PLC for approval of this inheritance claim of US$7,500,000.00 (Seven Million, Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars Only) in your favour as they requested and you should pray that I have a successful discussion with the Trans International Bank Plc and on my own side, I am 100% sure that the discussion will be a success as the documents are authentic.

Please, this transaction requires your honest co-operation and confidentiality as I have worked very hard to achieve this transaction and I will really appreciate if you will be honest with me through out this transaction.

I use this opportunity to thank you for your interest in this transaction and I look forward to meeting with you in your country as soon as we conclude the transaction.

With best regards,
Barr William Ibru
Tel :234-806-370-380

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Dear Good Partner,

Please view as an attachment my INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT AND MY CALL TO BAR CERTIFICATE AS A BARRISTER.

Please confirm the receipt of this mail.

William Ibru.





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I haven’t quite decided how I will reply to these last two, but I’ll let you know when I decide.