The good news is I'm off all next week because our company shuts down between Christmas and New Years.
The bad news is I'M FUCKING COMING DOWN WITH SOMETHING!!! ARRRRGGGGGG!!!! MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!! WHICH ONE OF BITCHES GAVE THIS TO ME? ARRRRGGGGGG!!!!
I haven't been sick in three fucking years, three fucking years! Why do I have to get sick just before my weeks vacation? Why fucking why? I have a sore throat that is starting to kill me and that nasal shit is coming, not yet, BUT IT'S FUCKING COMING, I JUST KNOW IT!!!!!!
TELL ME, WHY FUCKING WHY?!?!?
I am open to any and all suggestions to stop this thing in it's tracks. I can't, just can't, spend that week in bed! What can I do my friends?
Wait! I have an idea.
If any of you ladies have some spare time and want to come over and take care of the BTE, we could spend the week snuggling and other, uh, uh, "things". If you don't feel like getting that close, you could walk around naked. That I'm sure that would make me feel a WHOLE lot better even if I'm sick. I'll pay all expenses and feed you too. No out of pocket at all. I even promise I'll cover my mouth when I cough and sneeze.
(ROXIE!!! CAN YOU HEAR ME BABE?)
But starting right NOW, I'm going to start drowning these fucking germs with gin and tonic with a dash of lime juice. Gin has alcohol. lime juice has citric acid and alcohol and acid kills germs, so it makes perfect sense to me.
Make sense to you too, right?
No comments:
Post a Comment