But I already have a watch.

I WON!!!! HNT

Last Friday I took Lori to a charity auction at the aquarium she works at. Last year we went and had a ball, this year not so much.

Last year they had three hot belly dancers that got me out on the floor dancing with them, a magician, great food, an open bar and a great DJ. This year even the bar sucked. Someone needs to tell the caterer to cut down on the amount of water they water the booze down with. The food was just okay, but the DJ was fine.

I also vote that they get the three belly dancers they had last year next year. No one wants to see a 40-year-old woman and her 65 year old mother belly dancing. No shit, the mom had to be at least 65. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, I went away happy. I won a couple of auctions and Lori and I spent the night in a hotel room that night.

Don't ask, because what happens in Riverhead stays in Riverhead.

I won a silent auction, the "Stop & Shop" $25 gift card for $3 worth of tickets. I was also high bidder for two NY Islander hockey tickets with free parking in the reserved section of the parking lot. The minimum opening bid was $60, so I bid that. Lucky for me I was the only bidder and won. I won two $140 lower level seat with a $10 parking pass. A $250 prize for $60, not bad. Don't tell my son Brian, but since he's a big Islander fan, I'm giving them to him for Christmas. His girl friend and he will love them. They usually sit in the $21 section, three rows from the top. Now they will actually be able to see the puck.

The tickets also came with a commemorative set of hockey cards that are keeping my privates warm in the hotel room in this picture. I haven't decided if he gets them yet. I may want to add the cards to my collection. Come to think it. He wouldn't want the cards if knew where they've been. LOL

HAPPY I WON HNT!

Happy Veterans Day HNT

A little over 41 years ago I was drafted into the United States Army, so that qualified me to get this free meal from Applebees today!

A Fire Pit bacon Burger topped with pepper-Jack cheese and Applewood smoked bacon on a toasted bakery bun smothered with a smoky chipotle spread. That sucker was delicious!!!!!










To make today extra special, I wore my army issued, 40-year old, OD green, army issued socks. How do they look?

HAPPY VETERANS DAY HNT!

PS
Check out the story post below and then click on the link to read my other blog with some of my stories about that time of my life.

Veterans Day

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know some of you didn't know I am a veteran of the Vietnam War or have never read my "war" stories. I was an infantryman and a machine gun ammo bearer while there. I wasn't in Vietnam for very long, just one month and two days. I was wounded by a claymore mine, which cut my tour very short. This is the first of many stories I've written about this period of my life.

If you'd like to read the rest of the story, check out my other blog.

My Vietnam Stories

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 1: Drafted - May 6 to October 6, 1968

I was drafted into the United States Army on May 6, 1968 at the ripe old age of 19 years, 6 months and 2 days. Government policy at the time was to draft all men into the military at 19 ½ years of age if they hadn’t already joined or had a deferment of some kind. I almost joined earlier that year, but backed out to take my chances with the draft.

Although draftees were a small minority (16%) in the U.S. armed forces, they comprised the bulk of infantry riflemen in Vietnam (88% in 1969). They accounted for more than half the army's battle deaths. Because of student and other deferments, the draft and the casualties fell disproportionately upon working-class youths, black and white.

My father and stepmother drove me down to the draft board office in Smithtown NY that morning where I checked in and was put on a bus for the ride to Fort Hamilton in Brooklyn for induction. I remember staring out the window during the ride into Brooklyn wondering if I would live through this adventure and make it back home again after it was all over.

We arrived in at Fort Hamilton about an hour or so later, where we were interviewed and given a short physical. They asked a lot of questions to try and find out if we were medically fit, gay or mentally challenged. Not surprisingly, some were turned down. Those that were accepted, me included, were sent into in a room with lines painted on the floor and a large American flag in front. We were told to line up along the lines and then “asked” to step forward to "voluntarily" be sworn in.

At the final phase of the induction process, a military recruiting officer will order the Registrant, and any other Registrants present, to "line up on the line.” (a line, or several lines, is/are painted on the floor). A military recruiting officer will then order all those "joining the army,” (or whatever) to “take one step forward” … THOSE WHO LINE UP AS ORDERED AND TAKE ONE STEP FORWARD JUST "VOLUNTEERED!" BY TAKING ONE STEP FORWARD, YOU CONVERT YOUR "REGISTRANT" STATUS INTO THAT OF AN "INDUCTEE"!!!!

The oath is administered:"I, (state your name) do solemnly swear that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the Constitution of the United States of America and will defend it against all enemies foreign and domestic, and will obey the orders of the President and the officers appointed over me, so help me God."

Well, that was it, I was now the property of the United States Army. We were then lead out of the room and broken down into smaller groups depending where we were assigned. I was assigned to Fort Jackson in South Carolina, where ever that was. My group got on a bus for the ride to JFK airport in Queens. When our plane landed in Columbia South Carolina a few hours later, we were met by someone from the Army and put on another bus for the ride to Fort Jackson where the fun really started.

As soon as the bus pulled to a stop in front of the Reception Center, the meanest man I’ve ever come in contact with up to that point in my young life, jumps on the bus and starts yelling and screaming orders. “OFF THE BUS! DOUBLE TIME! LINE UP!" and all kind of crap like that.

I spent one week at the reception center where we were given haircuts, tested a lot and were issued our uniforms. Then it was off to 8 weeks of basic training (where I met much more mean men). Next it was 8 weeks of Advanced Individual Training (AIT) not to far from where I took basic training (the men were a lot less mean here, but not nice by a long shot) where we were actually taught to be infantryman. I graduated from AIT with the rank of PFC, issued my orders for Vietnam and then given 30 days leave.

When my leave was over I caught a plane out of JFK airport in Queens bound for San Francisco California. I spent one night in a hotel room crammed in with about 8 other guys. I slept on the floor that night. The next morning I reported to the Oakland Army Terminal to begin my processing for deployment to Vietnam. I spent a few days in Oakland before getting my orders and then boarded another bus ride to the airport where we boarded a Flying Tiger Airlines plane and headed out across the Pacific on a 25 hour plane ride.

Our first stop was in Hawaii where they refueled and changed crews. We were sent to a deserted terminal while this happened, where they could keep an eye on us. When we got back on the plane, attendance was taken and one guy had bailed. Next stop was Midway Island for refueling. Midway is literally just an airstrip in the middle of a lot of small islands. We were suppose to stop in Guam next, but a typhoon diverted us to the Philippines instead. Here they refueled and changed flight crews. The whole time up to now, we flew with the sun in daylight, but the rest of the way was in the dark.

Things got pretty quite on this last leg of our journey because reality was setting in fast. I did manage to sleep a little, but mostly I just did a lot of thinking and trying to imagine what was in store. Once over Vietnam, the stewardess announced we were over the country and to wake up and get ready for landing. I remember looking out the window; I had a window seat, and seeing the vast darkness and every once in a while, a small point of light.

It wasn’t long before we were landing at Bien Hoa airbase in Vietnam which about 20 miles northeast of Saigon. The date was October 6, 1968 somewhere around 11:00 at night if I remember correctly. Just before getting off the plane, the flight crew thanked us for flying Flying Tiger Airlines and said something like “We hope to see all of you back with us in a year for the ride home”. We all looked at each other wondering which of us here wouldn’t make that flight back to the "World".

Bien Hoa Air Base was located 20 mi (30 km) NE of Saigon and near the infamous LBJ (Long Bien jail), which was the in-country military prison compound. Bien Hoa was also a huge munitions storage area. The base itself was upgraded from an old French post, and still had many of the old French buildings and small concrete bunkers scattered around the perimeter.

This is a very good reason to drink.

Want to see more WTF pictures, then click this link.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME HNT

On November 4, 1948, my mom popped out a Cute Little Baby Horn Dog, me.



















Sixty-one years later this Big Old Horn Dog is inviting all the ladies to join me in my birthday celebration. Any one want to join me?

HAPPY 61ST BIRTHDAY HNT

BBQ Championship HNT

Last weekend in my little home town of Sayville, NY they held the last leg of the Kansas City BBQ Society's New York State BBQ Championship. Seven BBQ contests are held all over New York State starting in May each year. The winner is the team with the four highest scores in each contest. The this year's champion was 'Smoke On Wheels'.

These three really look like they enjoy their BBQ don't they? LOL

You don't get to try any of the BBQ entered in the contest unless the entrants want to give what's left away. We only saw two teams doing that and people were pounding it down.

Lori and I didn't really go there for the BBQ, but to see the Worlds largest BBQ Grill, the Johnsonville Big Taste Grill, 65-feet of grilling goodness. It even has it's own little kitchen.


Of course we had to have a Johnsonville brat. $3 each and all proceeds went to breast cancer.

This grill is on the road 340 days a year and at every stop, they donate all the food and all proceeds goes to a local charity. I'm impressed.




Bet you wish had one...........










.........with 'Beer & Brat' mustard with horse radish. Nothing better than that.

Okay, we didn't have a beer, because the line was 30-40 people long and the brat was long gone by then.

HAPPY BBQ BRAT HNT

PS
When I went to buy the brats, I ordered a bratwurst. The girl asked me if I wanted brats, because they don't sell bratwurst. So, FYI, JOHNSONVILLE BRATS ARE NOT BRATWURSTS, THEY ARE BRATS, JOHNSONVILLE BRATS!

Not all sexual harrassment is a bad thing

I would come out of retirement and even work for free to work for Chelsea Handler. And you all know how much I enjoy being retired.

Please vote, for me.

Come on folks. We have my friend Barbara up to 35th place out of about 5,000. Please vote for her daily. For me? If she makes it, she comes to New York and promised to come for a swim in my pool. I'll be your best friend. :-)

http://www.exploremodeling.com/Contest/Faceof_ELF_2010/13405/Barbara_Rappaport.aspx

You can't possibly deny me this hot babe swimming in my pool, can you?

Sorry, but no HNT this week, I was drunk last night.

Okay, maybe I wasn't drunk, but I forgot to get something ready yesterday and when I got home from dinner last night, I fell a sleep.

Last night I went to dinner at a local seafood bar/restaurant. Liz, our favorite barmaid was working. The place was quiet with just me and three women in their 30s sitting at the bar. I ordered a beer and asked for a menu planning to stay just long enough for dinner and a couple of beers. That wasn't in the cards and it wasn't my fault, I swear.

Liz puts out shot glasses in front of us when I sat down and told us that she wants to drink to a girl friend of hers that was murdered by her boy friend last week. She pours Jamenson scotch in the glasses, because that's what what her friend drank. We toasted to Liz's friend, may she rest in peace.

The small talk started, another friend of the girls came in and sat next to me. This women was older, she said 50-something. How do I know this? Because the girls wanted Liz to guess how old they were. Then they asked me. Ya, like I'm going tell them what I really think. I made some lame guess about being in their mid-20s, got a few giggles out of them and they gave their real ages; 32, 34, 31 & 50-something.

Then I asked them to guess how old they thought I was. I got a 42, 44, 39 & 54. (What sweet girls.) They feigned surprise when I told them I was going to be 61 on the 4th. Time for another round of shots this time paid for by the girls. I choose scotch again as not to mix my liquors. Bottoms up!

My dinner came. It was a special of the day; linguine with white clam sauce with three different types of sauted fish, fresh spinach & grape tomatoes. You could have fed four with the amount they gave me. More small talk about my dinner and before I knew it, the woman next to me wanted to buy me a shot. She doesn't drink scotch, so we settle on Southern Comfort, chilled.

Seems she met her girl friends up there because she didn't want to go home and eat the steak her husband was cooking for dinner. Huh? Her husband cooks dinner and she doesn't want to eat it? She said she doesn't like steak and their kids will be there, so she won't be missed. What's up with that?

Anyway, more small talk, another beer or two another shot and I bid them a fond farewell.

What's with these girls buying me shots? Do I look easy to them?

People of Walmart

ROTFLMAO! What are these people thinking? I don't really care, because they are entertaining me. Stick with it, because it gets better and better.

People of Walmart ROCK!



.

Closet Cleaning HNT

Lavender wasn't exactly the best color choice to stand up to dirt in my bedroom, but since purple is my favorite color, I choose it for my bedroom carpet about 30 years ago. Time has taken it's toll and finally it was time the carpet was replaced.

Let's start in the closet. I finally found one of my son's box cutters to use to slice the carpet.

FYI: Brian is not a gang member, but the produce manger in the produce department of Stop & Shop, so we have a LARGE supply of box cutters.


Start cutting here.........










.......stop there.....













Cut over there.....



You knew Lori would be checking out my ass, didn't you?











Geeze!!!!! Not another one?


FYI, I didn't post the rest of the ass shots to spare you. One can only take so much of my ass IMO.












I pealed back the carpet and low and behold, hard wood floors. Not one of those laminate floors, but real solid oak floors.















Pealed the carpet up, vacuumed the left over carpet bits and low and behold.............

...FRIGGING OAK FLOOR!

OAK FLOORS ARE HOT HNT!

Say a prayer

Os, aka Scott, is in ICU at St Pete's recovering from severely high blood sugar-probably in for the weekend. Sure he'll give more detail when he's recovered a bit but please send good thoughts and prayers.

The Human Body!

Very informative!

It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

One human hair can support 3kg (6.6 lb).

The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.

Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

Women blink twice as often as men.

The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.

Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

Women reading this will be finished now.

Men are still busy checking their thumbs.

Guest Post HNT!

I've never broken the HNT rules like this before, but in this case, I had an offer I couldn't refuse. You know the rule about us being in the picture and all that?

RULES BE DAMNED!

My good friend Barbara Rappaport is a model, actress, singer, painter, writer and one hot looking chick. She entered a modeling contest to be the 30-something face of ELF cosmetics. They are seeking a 20, 30 and 40-something woman for this endeavor. They will pick the top in each age group and then fly them to NYC for a photo shoot and the final selection.

She said she generally doesn't enter contests but figured, what the hell, you never know. Here is the link. Any votes are appreciated!

As an extra special incentive, Barbara sent along a couple of pictures that I think will really show you why she deserves your votes.

So vote every day and lets get her to NY City and out to Long Island for a visit to my place and in my pool.


In addition, my 61st birthday is on November 4th, so consider your vote for her as your birthday present to me.

Here's an even hotter picture as incentive.


Don't tell me you don't think she deserves this. This girl is HOT! So what are you waiting for, click the link and vote for her.

FYI: You can vote daily. If you do, I'll be your BFF.

HAPPY GUEST POST HNT!


Drop by Barbara's blog and wish her luck. Don't forget to tell her I sent you.

Good Friends HNT

Tuesday Jillie & Robert came over for a visit.


First there was the show-off-the-yard tour.









Followed by the photo op on the patio.










We chatted for a while then went up town to a local pub, Cricket's, for lunch.













Jillie & Robert was told how nice Sayville was, so I took them on a walking tour of Main & South Main Streets.









Sayville has a lot of history since it was founded in 1761, so Robert wanted a tour. We drove all over south Sayville & West Sayville. One of the highlights was a drive past the home owned by a cameraman for Sesame Street & Big Bird.







Then back to my place for drinks before they hit the road.

"Well now it's time to say goodbye to Tony and his girl
They would like to thank you folks for kindly dropping in
You're all invited back again to this locality
To have a heaping helping of their hospitality
Sayville that is"

"Y'all come back now, ya hear?"


And next August that includes y'all. I'm having a pool party and you're all invited.

HAPPY GOOD FRIENDS HNT!

Free Flu Shots and Lunch for Senior Citizens

For the last six years, a local business in Florida, has been giving away free flu shots and a gourmet lunch to senior citizens. I'll bet you can't guess who's hosting it? All I can say is that I wish they were doing this my area.

Video: Free flu shots and lunch for senior citizens.

Front Yard Remodeling HNT

Y'all know I've been remodeling my back yard for frigging ever. So why stop at just the back yard? Why not just get it all the hell over with and finish the outside once and for all? There have been big changes.

Here's the Old Homestead in 2005. Kind of over grown, don't you think?

That was the year my wife was diagnosed with brain cancer and I just didn't really care what it looked like.

Then I was stalked my the love of my life and my clone, Lori until I asked her out in March 2006. We met, fell in love and the rest is history.

We spent a lot of time fixing up the front yard and back yard. The front turned out like this.

It looked respectable at the time, but after remodeling the rest of my yard this year and seeing how good the place could look, this just wasn't going to cut it. I decided that once the back was finished, I'd get the front done too.

No, it's not finished yet. They still have more shrubs to plant, the sod needs to be laid, I need new blacktop for the driveway and a couple of new outside lights installed.

So what do you think so far?

What?

You want a closer look. Okay, here.

Not so fast!

I'll show a better shot when they finish.

Some how it's just not right to show you my front yard half nekkid.


HAPPY FRONT YARD REMODELING
HALF NEKKID THURSDAY!

PS
I'm so frigging excited! Jillie and her significant other Robert are coming here for a visit next week all the way from San Diego. So in their honor, I'm getting the place cleaned again by my new cleaning hotties. I mean cleaning ladies.

Now THIS is the best job ever!

Katy Perry's boob straightener outer.

While shooting her new video in L.A. yesterday, the 24-year-old got some help getting her breasts realigned by her stylist.

Pool Party Reminder

Next August 7th I am having a pool party in my new back yard resort and you're all invited. Sorry, but adults only. I've gotten a lot of responses, so counting Lori & I, the respondents and their known partners, I have 15 yes' and 31 maybe's. I know everyone won't be able to make it, but that's still a lot of people and there's still 322 days to go.

Here's a list of the places people are coming from.

Long Island, NY
Montana
Washington DC
Texas
Michigan
Buffalo, NY
NY City
South Carolina
California
Tennessee
Montreal, Canada
Vancouver, Canada
Florida
Las Vegas
Kentucky
Massachusetts
Kansas
New Jersey
Oregon
Minnesota

Who hasn't responded yet?