OUTDOOR PROJECT UPDATE #4

A week ago last Tuesday, they finished building the forms for the retaining wall.

Hey! I just realized that was May 5th, the day I was discharged from the army, 39 years ago.

The town initially scheduled the inspector to come last Tuesday, but the regular inspector didn't feel he was qualified to inspect a retaining wall around a swimming pool, so he kicked the job upstairs to engineering. They scheduled an engineer to come Wednesday morning, but he went to the wrong house and went back to the office figuring I was a no show. I called town hall and spoke to him and explained his mistake, so he came Thursday morning. The cement company was busy on Friday, so came first thing this morning to pump the cement to the forms in my back yard. From set up to clean up took only 1 1/2 hours.

Monday they are suppose to brick up two of my basement windows and start the wall. Gene, the construction foreman for the company, wants to make the wall out of poured concrete like the footing, instead of concrete block they originally planned. He said making it out of poured cement will be more expensive, but that will save them a lot of labor and take less time. Lugging 800 concrete blocks to my back yard and mixing countless batches of cement to hold them will together is a lot of frigging work. He's going to talk to the owner. Either way, they will be back Monday.

Here's a couple of shots of the form pre-pour.













Here's the cement truck and the pump truck that pumped the cement.








The cement came down the shoot and into a large bin with the pump. The driver of the pump truck had a remote control that controlled the flow of cement. Pretty cool.







They laid out pipes all along the trench and slowly pumped it in while spreading it evenly.







Here some shots of the finished footing.
























They piled the dirt up against the windows again and I had them remove it. Last heavy rain flooded my basement. Gene is sending someone over next week to clean up the mess.

I COULD JUST SCREAM HNT!!!!!!!!!!

The building inspector really pisses me off. Read the rest of the story to find out how I know he's not the sharpest tack in the box,
BY A LONG SHOT!!!!

The building inspector was supposed to come to my house at 1:30 today to inspect the forms for the retaining wall footing around my pool. He didn't show by 3:00, so I called town hall. The secretary called him and he called me right back. The conversation went something like this.

He says, "I was there at 1:30 and knocked, but no one answered the door. So I went around back and saw a retaining wall."

"I've been here all day. I don't have a retaining wall, I'm building a retaining wall. All I have so far are the trenches fir the footings."

"I thought it was strange that the wall was already built. You live in a blue house with a boat on a trailer in the driveway, right?"

"No, my house is beige and there is a black car and a dumpster in the driveway."

"Well I saw a blue boat on a trailer in the driveway."

"My next door neighbor has a gray & white boat in the driveway and it's up on blocks. I'm standing in the street and there isn't another boat in any driveway on the block. Are you sure you had the right street?"

"Yes, you live on Northgate Dr. It’s off of Elm on a dead end street."

"No, I live on Norgate Dr and it's not a dead end street."

"The block is really short, right?"

"No, it's a decent size. You sure you had the right street."

"Positive. The odd numbered houses are on the left and even on the right."

"Yes."

"#11 is right across the street."

"No, there is no #11 on my block."

"I saw an old couple across the street walking up their driveway, he has a gray beard."

"Nope across the street from my house. You have to of had the wrong house."

"I'm sorry, I apologize. I'll be there first thing tomorrow morning. I leave the office at 9:00, so will be there by 9:30. Okay?"

"That's fine. I'll see you first thing. But do me a favor and call me if you have any trouble finding my house, okay?"

"Yes, I have your number."

"Thanks."

Note to readers: I could have gotten angry and yelled at him, but I'm too mellow of a guy for that. I figure I'll life longer if I take things in stride. It's already been 10 months trying to get this project going, so what's another couple of days?

Besides, he probably feels like the idiot he is and won't be so picky when he does his inspections of the project, I hope.

I WANT MY FRIGGING RETAINING WALL AND POOL PATIO BUILT!!!!!!!!

UN-HAPPY HNT!

Edit: The inspector showed up this morning, a half hour early. The whole inspection took less than five minutes. He apologized and told me he went to the wrong house yesterday, three houses up the street. They have a pool, but no retaining wall. Couldn't he figure out that he just might be at the wrong address? Then we walked around back and measured the form in one place and looked that the rebar. Then told me it looked too close to the fence. I pointed at the survey stakes on the other side of the fence. He didn't measure, just looked, said okay and it was alright to pour the cement. He didn't even look at the whole form, just what he could see from where we were standing in the yard. Too much trouble to walk around the house I guess. He apologized a million times and left. Told me to call when the walls are up for another inspection.

I love this doctor!

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. In addition, what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans!!! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'

AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all the mothers out there!

Can't a guy have a little privacy?

Close the door on your way out.

Have a nice HNT

I like Adrianne Curry more and more each day.

I've been following Adrianne Curry on MySpace for quite a while now. If you don't know her, she was the winner of season one on America's Top Mode, has a couple of nude spreads in Playboy and is married to Christopher Knight, one of the Brady Bunch kids. She's really a very funny, down to earth girl and posts on her MySpace blog pretty much daily.

I was encouraged to set up a Twitter account, so earlier this week I did. I saw a message exchange by Perez Hilton and Adrianne Curry, so I follow along. Perez posts message about Miss California USA and pointing out how shitty her boob job was.

Adrianne replies to Perez. “Yeah, they don't have the slope natural boobs do.”

I couldn’t resist, so jump in and reply to Adriane. “I agree, I've never seen a pair of fake boobs I liked.”

She replies to me with this. "I have. My doctor gave me the most natural boobs. I have women in the gym ask if they are real while I am walking around naked."

Of course I immediately Google her Playboy pictures to look for myself and then I reply with this. "I just looked at the Playboy pictures and they do look good. I've finally seen I've seen a pair I liked."

I know, I’m bad. LOL

I didn’t get a reply, so later I checked her Twitter page. She stopped Twittering four hours ago and my reply was the last message. She has a lot of celebrity Twitter friends that were probably wondering "Who the fuck is this Tony guy she's talking with about her boobs?”

My first cybersex celebrity chat. Okay, maybe not cybersex, but I’ll take it. LOL

OUTDOOR PROJECT UPDATE HNT

My outdoor project has finally started really moving. Today they started laying the forms for the retaining wall footings.

Damn, that was a lot of work, I'm beat just looking at it!

Check out the rest of the recent project update in the post below.

HAPPY OUTDOOR PROJECT UPDATE HNT!

OUTDOOR PROJECT UPDATE #2

In the last update, I had all the shrubbery removed. Check the before and after here. This time, I had everything else demoed.

Do I need a holly tree?













Nope, cut that sucker down.








Time to take out the stump, because I don't need no stinking stump or holly tree!







Do I need these hedges?









Or these hedges?









Or these?









What about these hedges?









Nope, I don't need no stinking hedges here!








Or here!








What about a deck?









Do I need a deck?








I don't need no stinking deck?








Retaining wall?









I don't need no stinking retaining wall.








I DON'T NEED NOTHING!

Okay, maybe I need something.
How about a giant elevated patio and swimming pool area bigger than my entire frigging house?

Yes, I think I like that idea.
What about you?

Tony-ology

Shibari tagged me with this on Facebook, so I figured I'd post it here. Tag yourself if you want.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let others know a little more about yourself,
re-post this as your name followed by "ology"
Once you have been tagged you must do it
and then tag the person that tagged you!


FOOD-OLOGY

What is your salad dressing of choice?
Bleu cheese

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
Popeis: It’s a local seafood restaurant

What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it ?
Pizza

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
All of them, even anchovies, but if I had to pick two, pepperoni & mushrooms

What do you like to put on your toast?
Butter

TECHNOLOGY

How many televisions are in your house?
3

What color cell phone do you have?
Black

What does the first text message in your inbox say and who sent it?
I don’t do texting

Who was the last person to call you?
The contractor doing my back yard project

BIOLOGY

Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Right

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Appendix, tonsils & and countless pieces of shrapnel when I wounded in Nam

What is the last heavy item you lifted?
The box with the new video surveillance system

BULLCRAPOLOGY

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
No, but dying doesn’t frighten me. If you count my out of body experience when I was wounded, I’ve already died.

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
I like my name

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Sure, I love spicy foods

DUMBOLOGY

How many pairs of flip-flops do you own?
0

Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
When my son’s car was broken into last year

Last person you talked to in person?
Steve, the landscape designer I’m using for my outside project

Favorite Month?
July. It’s swimming pool weather and chicks don’t wear very much

CURRENTOLOGY

Missing someone?
My girl friend Lori

Mood?
Happy. The work on my outside project is progressing. I want this done ASAP!

What are you listening to?
Chain saw. They are cutting down the hedge between me and my neighbor.

Watching?
Nothing

Worrying about?
My mom had to go into a nursing home and we need to fine a permanent place for her. She’s in Michigan and I’m in NY, so that makes it difficult.

RANDOMOLOGY

What’s the last movie you watched ?
On line hi def video about things in slow motion.

Do you smile often?
Yes, all the time.

Do you always answer your phone?
Nope, I check caller ID first. IF I know them, then yes.

It’s four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
I don’t do texting

If you could change your eye color what would it be?
I have beautiful blue eyes and the chicks love them, so not changing the color.

What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic Drive In ?
No Sonic around here.

Do you own a digital camera?
Yep

Have you ever had a pet fish?
Many years ago, plenty. My son has two tanks now.

Favorite Christmas song?
White Christmas

What’s on your wish list for your birthday?
Nothing. I have everything and if I don’t, I buy it myself, so I am impossible to buy gifts for.

Can you do push ups?
A few, maybe.

Can you do a chin up?
I doubt it.

Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
Excited. My outside project will be completed and I can have an open house to christen it. Your all welcome!

Do you have any saved texts.
I don’t do texting.

Ever been in a car wreck?
Yep, three, not counting fender benders.

Do you have an accent?
Us New Yawk Lawn Gilanders don’t have no accent.

Song to make you cry?
Tons of them. I cry all the time at sappy things. Fortunately Lori thinks it’s sweet that I am so sensitive.

Plans tonight?
TV. Monday night CBS has the best shows.

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
Twice. When my late wife was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and when she died.

Name 3 things you bought yesterday?
Just two, gin & tequila

Have you ever been given roses?
No, but I’ve sure given a lot.

Current worry?
You asked that already. I said, “My mom had to go into a nursing home and we need to fine a permanent place for her. She’s in Michigan and I’m in NY, so that makes it difficult.”

Current hate right now?
War

Met someone who changed your life? When?
My mother when she put me on a bus to live with my father and step mom in 1963. I was headed in the wrong direction with my life. My late wife when I met her in 1970. She stabilized me and got me focus on my future. My girl friend Lori in 2006. Who showed me that you could find another soul mate after loosing your first.


What song represents you?
Haven’t a clue. You have any ideas?

What were you doing 12 AM last night?
Snuggling with Lori.

Name three people who might complete this.
I don’t tag, so probably no one.

I MADE THE TMZ SEMI FINALS AGAIN!

This week I'm #59 out of 66 on TMZ's "Trashy Fashion" contest. First prize is $250!!!! The final group will be posted on Monday, so wish me luck. The last time I entered I made the semi finals too. Always the brides maid, never the bride.

Actually, I think I look pretty spiffy.

I Received an Award HNT

I received this award from Jillie. Thanks Jillie. Here's what she posted on her blog.

"TONY...WHAT CAN I SAY....TONY TONY TONY! HAS ANYONE SEEN THAT ASS LATELY?????"

I think she's referring to my HNT post last week. I really never gave my ass much thought, because it seems so flat. Not even close to what I'd call a booty. Then I met Lori. That girl can't get enough of it. She puts her hand where I'm going to sit, so I sit on it. She almost never walks in front of me or next to me, always behind me. She also makes these guttural sounds or just says, "Nice ass." Now that I've received this award from Jillie, I might just have to reevaluate my ass or recommend they get their eyes checked. I'm leaning toward eye tests, because I just don't get it.

I know I posted a picture of my ass last week, but it seemed appropriate that I should post another picture of it again this week. So without further ado, my ass in all it's glory.

HAPPY ASS AWARD HNT!

Free Shit!

I saw this in an email I got from Chris Pirillo. You can download over 750 MP3s for free at Amazon.com - legally! I've never heard of 99% of the musicians/comedians/what evers, but free is free, right?

http://tinyurl.com/68gdau

THIS IS FOR YOU IRS HNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I finally did my taxes and sent my check to the IRS, or should I say, to the banks and car companies. This picture is an oldie, but goodie and you old timers may even remember when I first posted it. I thought it was apropos.

KISS MY EVER LOVING ASS!!!


NOTICE: DO YOURSELF A BIG FAVOR AND CHECK OUT THE VIDEO IN MY LAST POST. I PROMISE YOU WON'T REGRET IT.

I was as surpried as everyone else.....

...... when this plump, homely old lady walked out on the stage and started singing.

YOU MUST WATCH THIS!

Susan Boyle on Britain's Got Talent
Uploaded by dwarthy

I'll bet you were crying within the first 5 seconds.

I just read that Simon Cowell was already setting up a record deal for her on his own label.

LOOK WHO MADE THE FINALS!

Monday vote for me on the TMZ web site at TMZ.com.

EDIT: Damn! I didn't make the final five. Guess my hair wasn't heinous enough.

ACTUAL MANUAL LABOR HNT

You better sit down for this one.

You sitting?

Good.

I did actual physical labor, aka, work.

Ya, I know your shocked, but even I am capable of physical labor. I try not to make it a habit, but my baby needed me.

Lori moved into a new place two weeks ago. Last weekend I volunteered to replace a few locks and door knobs. I mean, how difficult could it be? Right?

It was a royal pain in the ass to say the least. It took me two days to fix the front door, back door, garage door and the bathroom door. Then there was the storm doors.

Why do amateurs even attempt to fix things they have no clue about? People, when you don't know what your doing, ask someone that does, K?

Saturday I attacked the front and back door. The priority was the back door since it couldn't be locked.

Of course I had Sam to help me. Sam Adams that is, He's on the microwave.




A lot of wood filler and countless times moving the strike plate and the back door finally locked. The front door lock was a snap to replace.






Once I fixed the front and back doors, it was time to tackle the storm doors.








I don't have a clue why, but Lori thinks this shot is sexy. I am grateful for the praise, but I still don't get it.


It wasn't just me working, Lori was busting her ass. I don't have a picture of her ass, but I hope this will do.

HAPPY ACTUAL MANUAL LABOR HNT

My Mom HNT

My mom has been battling dementia and now Alzheimer for a few years. It's finally made her incapable of living on her own. On March 6th, she was admitted to the hospital due to VERY high blood pressure. She kept screwing up her meds.

It's a long story, but I had to make the decision to admit her in a long term care facility, but we're not sure where that's going be right now. I'm going to try like hell to make it an assisted living facility so she has a little bit of control for the rest of her life, but probably not.

I love you mom.

"Shopping sprees linked to periods"

I found this article on PerezHilton.com. It explains why women have an uncontrollable urge to shop. See, it's not there fault at all. IMHO, it's Eve's fault. This is just another reason God is punishing women, because Eve picked that apple.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Women may be able to blame impulse buys and extravagant shopping on their time of the month, research suggests.

In the 10 days before their periods began women were more likely to go on a spending spree, a study found.

Psychologists believe shopping could be a way for premenstrual women to deal with the negative emotions created by their hormonal changes.

Professor Karen Pine will present her work to a British Psychological Society meeting in Brighton later this week.

She asked 443 women aged 18 to 50 about their spending habits.

Almost two-thirds of the 153 women studied who were in the later stages of their menstrual cycle - known as the luteal phase - admitted they had bought something on an impulse and more than half said they had overspent by more than £25.

A handful of the women said they had overspent by more than £250.

And many felt remorse later.

Professor Pine, of the University of Hertfordshire, said: "Spending was less controlled, more impulsive and more excessive for women in the luteal phase.

"The spending behaviour tends to be a reaction to intense emotions. They are feeling stressed or depressed and are more likely to go shopping to cheer themselves up and using it to regulate their emotions."

Hormonal

She said much of this could be explained by hormonal changes during the menstrual cycle. And the findings were exaggerated in the women with severe PMT.

"We are getting surges and fluctuations in hormones which affect the part of the brain linked to emotions and inhibitory control. So the behaviour we found is not surprising."

Another explanation might be that women are buying items to make themselves feel more attractive - coinciding with the time of ovulation when they are most fertile, typically around 14 days before the start of a period.

Most of the purchases made by the women were for adornment, including jewellery, make-up and high heels.

Professor Pine said: "Other researchers have found there is an ornamental effect around the time of ovulation."

Researchers have found women tend to dress to impress during their fertile days.

Professor Pine, author of the book Sheconomics, said if women were worried about their spending behaviour they might avoid going shopping in the week before their period was due.

Yummy HNT.....

Nothing like a good shrimp cocktail with a tasty cocktail sauce.

HAPPY YUMMY HNT!

Public Service Announcement #1

Where as New Jersey has declared Brazilian waxing illegal, I am offering FREE, yes FREE waxings. I feel it's the least I could do.

I'm a Chef HNT

Last week I had a craving for pot roast and all the fixin's.

I bought one of them oven cooking bags and stuffed it plum full. Three hours later here's what we got. Don't look like much now, but jus' you wait.






The yummy lookin 4 pound pot roast.








The pot roast cut up jus' fine. Looks good, don't it?








Then there's the fixin's. Baby carrots, potatoes and our fav, onions. They was very tasty.







I gots me a craving for some noodles too.

Ya, I know, two starches, but so what! I can cook whats ever I want, so there!!!!!!!





Ain't pot roast without gravy is it? So I's put the drippin's in a pot, stirred in a bit of four and made me a very tasty gravy fit for a king.






How's that for a dinner?








Lori sure liked it. Can't you tell?








If I do say so myself, it was great!

HAPPY POT ROAST HNT!

Lori was a bad girl HNT

We went out to a wine tasting dinner tonight with our BFFs. Lori took lots of pictures of the food and wine, cleavage of our friend, which was really nice and the girls making out at the next table. I think their husbands liked it even more than we did. Too bad she left the wires for her camera at home or I would have posted the pictures. When we got back to my place I punished her in a good way. The way her and I both like.

Happy Bad Girl HNT

I feel really bad. Last week Lori made a very sexy post but I forgot to let y'all know. Please stop by and comment on her blog.

Happy 3RD Anniversary HNT

March 4th 2006, I met Lori face to face for the first time. She had been stalking me for a few months until I finally asked her out. We went to the movies that night and then to Kenny's our favorite bar. We had a great time, so great in fact that I didn't get her home until the next day at 5:30 am.

Tonight I took her to our new favorite place, to see our favorite barmaid, Liz.

Dinner was All-You-Can-Eat crab legs. Yummy, yummy, yummy.

HAPPY 3RD ANNIVERSARY HNT!